Sunday, December 22, 2013

look, another post!



shared by a friend on facebook. while i don't know her full story, i understand she's struggled. i admire her strength to go on and her optimism for the new year. i share that same optimism. 2014 belongs to me.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

right about now...

the funk soul brother
sorry if the video weirds you out. i never knew it sucked!


I should really post more mundane shit so I don't go weeks without posting. but at the same time I don't want to be boring. where's the middle ground?

'we'll, kits, what have you been up to?'

I'm glad you asked! about half way done editing the first book of my novel series. after that, I have a duck or two to get in a row before I start sending chapters to my editor. the goal is to have this bad boy polished by the end if the year, 2015 I star looking for a publisher and a house.

also been going through Rosetta Stone like motherfucking gang busters. and it's working. i recognize characters and their sounds outside my learning and can eventually glean words and context. I know this Rosetta Stone is is stiff as fuck (its lack of colloquialism is a main complaint of users), but between Rosetta Stone, anime and various other outlets, I'll be pretty conversational.

also gearing up for the 2014 cons season. it's looking like action packed con-y goodness from february to november. i would love to go to every con offered in the DF-Dub area, but some have pretty spicy prices, and i have a thing about premiering a new cosplay at each one i attend. so between the cost of the pass, the cost of make a new cosplay and, you know, the cost of living, i might not get to go to some of them. but i still plan to look great at the ones i do get to. 

i've also be doing a fair amount of gaming. my friends made me open the pandora's box that is a steam account. i've sunk quite a few hours into steam games so far (and a few dollars, yikes!), but i still myself finding playing good ole nancy drew games. i love nancy drew games. i'm currently on a kick to play every single nancy drew game to date. out of 29 games (30 drops in 2014, woot!) i've played 12. it would be 14, but i've had a hard time getting a good copy of two of them. i love puzzles and they all have a great variety of puzzles, any you can think of. but i think i've gotten too good at them. less than halfway through, i always figure out who done it.

'that's all well and good, kits, but aren't you supposed to be writing? don't you have a novel you're supposed to be working on?'

well, yes. and i am. i try to take time out of every day to work on the novel. but editing is quite honestly the worst part of writing. and editing something i wrote years ago before i started honing my craft is a little painful and tediuous. however, i'm over half way done with the initial edit. by the time i'm clear to submit it to my editor, the polish will be done.

i'm pretty excited. my passions are coming to fruition in ways i would have never imagined. i get to be creative more and more these days. i am exctremely optomistic that 2014 is going to be my finest year as such. one day, very soon, i may even live creatively. writing, creating, crafting, sewing, doing the things i love and actually making sustainable money. i cannot wait.

stay with me...

Monday, December 2, 2013

i got dreams so big.....


colored this today. quite fond of it. wish i could draw as well as i color. i wouldn't have a day job.

how are you?

been  a few days but i'm still doing me. been working hardcore on a novel i started probably seven years ago.it's the first book in a five book series. it's completely done too. it's just really, really poorly written.

i started it well before i began honing my skills, and god does it show. have an excerpt:

“You work for Statori?”
“I am chief of all State forces. I am known as the Viper. You’ve met my student, Jin Odan. And now, tell us, who are you?” Mo turned her head to the floor and said nothing. The Viper sighed. “They are always like this, aren’t they?” he chuckled to Jin. “So DIFFICULT!” He turned and struck Mo with the back of his fist as he spoke. She bent forward but didn’t topple. “What are you going to do with me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Viper crouched in front of Mo and leaned into her face. She only glanced at his face, but his eyes told her everything she need to know: this man is ruthless. His eyes were an inky contrast to his pallor and silvery locks. They sat close to his high cheekbones and held all the fury of a rabid animal. He raised a hand to caress her brow, cheek and lips. She cringed at his touch and extremely close proximity. “What I want,” he whispered, “you will know in good time. Until then, who are you and who sent you?” “Go to hell,” Mo whispered back. Vipers face was an instant scowl. He stood and pulled a pistol from a side holster beneath this suit jacket. She watched as he slowly took off the safety and fully cocked the hammer. “Wait!” she said suddenly. “I do have something to show you.” A greasy, self-confident smile crossed Viper’s face. He replaced he hammer, but left the gun trained on Mo. While she had been on her knees, she managed to loosen the ropes around her ankles, without being noticed, but left them taunt enough to stay in place. Mo situated herself so she sat flatly on the floor with her knees at her chest. She then rolled backwards in a tumble and brought her bound hands in front of her. “What the…” Jin remarked out loud. Viper, looking slightly irritated, asked, “Is that it?”


grammatical errors, weird POV at times, giant blocks of indiscriminate prose and dialogue. wow. but the story is completely solid. for which i'm very glad. i've got skeleton for all five books of the series. something i rarely do. like really, rarely. most of my writing i go into not having any fathomable clue how it's going to end. even my blog posts, i just be typin'.

so to me, this is meant to be. which is why i'm working so hard on it. because as soon as i finish something else, i can start submitting chapters of the novel to my editor. yes, i have an editor who i've worked with and trust with my writing. it's not particularly up her alley of expertise (she writes romance, i write fantasy and sci fi), but she knows how i work and i know how she edits. so i'm really honored to work with her on this.

i'm busting my ass to stay on top of this now because this novel is the beginning of a dream that i HAVE to see to fruition. as i mentioned in a previous posts, i've seen a lot of death in the last few months. so many lives cut short makes me realize i got to get moving, do something. i don't want regrets, what if's. i want to know that i at least tried.

i've always wanted to be a published author. i've been writing ever since i could put sentences together. my mind can't be contained, too much shit in this head, man. i gotta get it out, i gotta share. my dream, realized the last day of november 2013 is to publish this novel as my first. sell a bunch of copies, maybe be able to work on the second one full time and quit my job (or at least go to a part time job). then i'll start squirreling money away to make the epic first trip to japan. eventually, i want to be successful enough to make at least one trip to Japan (or any other country i feel like seeing) once a year.

ambitious, i know. don't care. that's the goal. that's why i work. i want this for not only me, but for the people that i love and the people that i've lost. you'll want to see where this goes, i promise you. the ride will be a little bit of amazing. stick with me...

Friday, November 29, 2013

fucking sad

I feel like a the harbinger of death. four people in the last four months have died around me. it's fucking heart breaking; three of them were good friends, people I can say I loved in some way.

life is not fucking fair sometimes. I want to scream, fight, cry, do something to try to change it, anything. but there's no changing fact: life is unfair to all of us at some point.

it's hard going about daily business, hurting like this. people around you are happy, having great times. and part of me is angry, like 'don't you know someone just died? have a little decency.' but they don't fucking know. and someone, several people even, die every second of the day.

they are also born every second of the day, though. we ignore both facts as facts of life, so to speak. I don't know know much about reincarnation, but I believe it involves being reborn in a better life if you did well in your past one, or vice versa. if applicable, I want my parted friends to reincarnate into awesome lives, because they led great ones already.

I fucking miss them. all of them. by the Christian faith I was raised in, I would get to see them again in glory. that wouldn't be half bad either. I could use one more joke, one more hug, one more song.

making myself sad now. kits out...

Monday, November 25, 2013

Chan~ges...

the first of many blog updates have begun. starting with the new email for this blog and The GoodGirlGrind is CataclysmIsBornProductions@gmail.com. it's gonna be for a lot of things. writing, art, cosplay, gaming, and anything else i get up to. Also linked this blog to Google+. so far not that crazy about that medium, but i'll maintain it as long as it serves me.

soon to come will be a twitter, CataclysmIsBorn Facebook, maybe a tumblr?(generally can't wrap my head around that site...). i'll see what else i can get into...

i'm really all new to this. i want to get myself out there, build a brand, gain some following and maybe see a little success in my various endeavors. that's the goal. so i gotta spend a considerable amount of life wading through the various social medias. this shit ain't easy. at all. but i hope it will be worth it.

stay with me...

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were this a real post, you will be somewhat entertained
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Monday, November 18, 2013

Random PSA!

guys, if you've ever been on Wikipedia, you know every once in a while they go all "PBS" and ask for money. well, it really is one of the most helpful sites for just random bs information, and you know you've used it. personally, i love Wikipedia. so throw some money at them this season. not all your money, they aren't a stripper. but they do work for tips. $3-$5 bucks will keep them running another year. you paid more for lunch in the last week, and on that lunch break you probably had to wiki something. so help out, thanks.

*end PSA. feel free to share*

Friday, November 15, 2013

Anime North Texas!

is right now!

I was later than i wanted to be, but i made it to the con! it's nothing like akon or even animefest. it's there first year and it's really, really tiny. like, so tiny i see the same dude in a fox cosplay in every panel i go to. granted, we both end up in cosplay panels, but still, tiny cute little con.

but i had fun today. it was surprisingly easy to get to, despite crap traffic (i hate traffic by the way. like really, hate). not a lot of cosplayers, but a few recognizable faces. i expect there to be a lot more tomorrow, since saturday is usually the biggest day for most conventions.

they have some decent artist and vendors and i plan on making a few purchases. nothing crazy, since i don't have room or money for all the things i want. the only downside to this particular saturday is that i will have to bolt out and miss one of the cosplay panels i wanted to attend to go to a funeral for a coworker. I won't dwell on that, since this is about the con and it makes me super sad, but Jimmy 'Dale' Moore was a damn good man. con's come and go, but this is my only chance to say farewell to a friend.

so back to ANT, one downside to this con and its location, there's like no food. the convention staff have some tiny snacks, and they are selling cups to get free drinks from the hotel, but there are no food trucks and the cafe in the hotel lobby is a little weird. weird as i never see anyone actually working. just a random table or two of hotel guests. most of which are gawking at the costumed freaks that have apparently taken over the place. i love being a costumed freak and making people look twice. warms my cockles. but i actually had to leave the hotel, drive a 18 minutes that turned into half an hour (fuck you traffic. fuck you and go to hell.) and come back for my last panel. and i only got a burger. tomorrow and sunday though, i plan on indulging in some of the better restaurants.

other than that, it's a standard con. everyone has been really nice and peaceable. no fandom wars (that i'm aware of), no over crowding, the panels are good... overall, good con so far. i plan on attending again next year.

oh, yeah. and here's a pic of the finished product...





i was never happy with the hood, but hey, i can live with it. more tomorrow...

how it all played out...

as i write this, i envision that this shit should not be hard. the white is easy, the eyes, nose and whiskers are easy ( i can't believe i found black whiskers *fist pump*). the only complication (and potential tears of frustrated fury) i foresee is the ears. i have to cut slits in the hood an make them stand up. now i have some pretty good material for the inside of the ears that i think should stay up: i yanked the weird pastie cups out of my white Genie bra

yeah, we're doing this...

*and then three days passed*

and yes, the ears were a 6 hour nightmare. i started on the ears first (probably mistake number one). i'd shaped them into perfect little ovals and positioned them on the hood with the rest of the face. then i had to mark their positions to cut (enter mistake number two). since the material is furry, i had to find something strong and dark enough to mark it. i end up using a pen. thus every place i cut had pen mark all over it. un. professional. then the horror started.

i'd positioned the ears concave side down. so they would would be concave side up when i attached the cups. i should have done the opposite.  so now i have pen marks all over the hood that are going the wrong way. it ultimately made the cups really hard to position and attach to the flaps i'd created. so while they are "up" they don't have any cute definition. they are just flat. honestly don't know what i could have done different. i considered stuffing a little batting that i had behind them for body, but that would convex the cups, making the whole situation worse. 

i eventually just got the damn cups on there and dealt with it. attaching the white face, eyes and nose were a cinch. an absolute fucking joy. and then i got to the whiskers, which i figured would be just as easy as it was the finishing touch. it was the damn ears all over again. the whiskers are just these thin, black  little fiber optic looking things. which is no biggie, but i had no way of attaching them besides sewing them. or at least that's what i thought. hindsight is a bitch (mistake three!). i dug some holes in the face and stuck the whiskers through, then used the transparent thread to sew them in. this worked great. till i pulled to make sure they were secure and the little bastards pulled clean out. so i had to sew around, and around, and around and around them to get enough string layered to keep them in place. what i should have done was dug the holes, stuck the whiskers in and used some tacky glue on the inside to keep them in place. it was wednesday night, i had plenty of time to test it and try it again before i had to wear it. but it was wednesday night, i was tired and not thinking straight. 

so around two am and several episodes of archer later, the beast was done. 

i decided not to fix my Kanaya cosplay, as i had no desire to get into that get up. plus i got no body paint. so there's that. thursday i went to the part time gig, then came home an did my hair. the game plan was to bleach it to a warm brown to match the cosplay. what i go twas a bizarre light brown blond nightmare. (what mistake am i up to now? damn shame i keep fucking up like this...)

i, uh, don't know jack...

the roots took too well while the ends didn't want to take all all. and i think i left the bleach on a little too long. another mistake (made weeks ago, but i still count it as what, five?) was picking up the wrong developer. it was the wrong strength, then i tried leavinge it on longer to get the ends to lighten.  i've developed mostly good hair over the years, so it will grow out and a color rinse will calm the fury. what i now worry about is my hair getting crazy brittle. if that happens, gonna have to be a year of weave till it gets back to a decent length. let's hope it doesn't come to that (hope, fast, pray... i love my hair!)

so the con started today, more on that in another post...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Tuesday before the con...

alright, welcome back...

still working my nao cosplay, and thank God we're in the home stretch and on schedule.

nao is pleased...

the hood proved to be somewhat easier than i originally anticipated. attaching it to the shirt was a snap, took about an hour hand sewing it. i would have loved to have used my machine, but it was 1 AM and the household was asleep. i want this shit done, but i don't want to be a dick about it.

this morning, i tired the whole thing on about three times adjusting the overage on the back and trimming it down to get a decent shape. in that process, i also decided that my huge hooters do not look good in this top. but i may have a solution. i'm going to go by a sporting goods store and get a compression shirt. i read it helps heavy/large chested cosplayers tame their titties. with the hood done, i got to the part i was most excited about since i started this project: the extra long stripped sleeves.

i was sooo excited. i just knew this would be the easiest, fastest and cutest part yet. it is 10:30 at night and i just finished a little while ago. it. was. HELL. because of this:

HELL!

the sleeves are so long, i had to bunch them like crazy to maneuver around them to attach them to the furry sleeves. and i had to use my left hand to do most of the stitching because my right hand was stuffed in the rolls keeping it straight and steady. part of the problem is that before this, i had little concept of the proper fabric needed. when i designed the material for the sleeves, i used the cheapest material Spoonflower offered, because it said cotton. and while it is cotton, super smooth and soft, it's like dress shirt material, not tshirt material. so it didn't give as much as i would have liked. which probably would have made rolling it to attach it to the outer sleeves a little easier. six hours to attach two damn sleeves. i know i'm an amateur at this shit, but damn, i feel pretty ashamed of that time.

but, ohmahgosh, SO CUUUUTE!

yeah, gonna have to iron those sleeves :-/
one day and one thing left to do: the mousey face. I'm determinted more than anything for this not to be an all day process. i got a lot of other shit to do. IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN! 

T minus 2 days

*original post delayed due to no flipping pics!*

i dunno what the T stands for. touch down? whatevs, gotta make this quick. it's crunch time.

so i got ringer sleeves on the tee. this should have been gravy, but i spent an hour of the two i had to day, sewing a sleeve on inside out and another hour ripping the seams to put it on right. by then, it was work time, so i grabbed the materials and tools and have been sitting here for, oh, 6 hours handsewing sleeves that should have taken ten, twenty minutes tops, had i not fucked up the first time. but the sleeves are half done and cute.






i tried it on and and, much to my chagrin, it's not nearly as loose as i would like. but you know what, i'll loose weight, i'll strap down my tits, whatever. what i'm not going to do is try this again. it will still be cute and recognizable once it's done.

next problem on the agenda, however, is the hood. it's hangs loosely around Nao's head in cute, clothes-two-sizes-too-big-for-you sort of way. i originally measured a nice wide berth of 21" so it would cover my huge head and still hang. this is, however, WAY too big for the poor little 26" neck of my shirt. the pattern i ripped off for the hood was for a Padme Amidala costume.



but it's ruched to the neck of a cape. i can't ruch this. it would look stupid. so i have to trim the hood, and i'm fucking scared because i'm afraid that if i cut too much, it won't hang right and be all tight against my huge head. but there's nothing for it but to do it. i just hope i don't have to go fabric shopping tomorrow because of this...

so now it is 1030 on monday night an the goal is to have this shit done no later than wednesday night. in addition to finishing this puppy, i have to wash my hair tuesday, bleach my bangs wednesday repair my Kanaya cosplay thursday in case i decide to wear it. all this between two jobs and whatever else live chucks at me between now and then.  NO MORE, PLEASE, LIFE! I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR IT!

the heat is on...

Sunday, November 10, 2013

sooo gooooood!

i have no fucking idea what i'm doing. but i'm a boss at it. got the sleeves cut off the tshirt today.

 

gonna round the bottoms of the shirt too, but that's in post. i've got to get the rest of it put together first. i ripped the shirt seams to lay flat and used hem as a pattern for the sleeves, marking them left and right. because i don't need any reason to fuck up at this juncture.


especially sincce i'm out of fabric. the sleeves were right at the edge of the furry fabric. i might lose part of an inch in the pit area, but i'll make that sacrifice for the rest of it to at least look right.

i felt like i got a lot done, but i didn't. i wish i'd had more time today to cut out the sleeves and start sewing them back to the body of the tee. but between church and family shenanigans, this is all i could do. i am very excited about tomorrow, as it is all about me monday. i love to sleep in and kick back monday mornings, do what i want. makes me feel like a lady of leisure one day a week. but i won't stay in bed tomorrow, since want to work on this cosplay. tomorrow sleeves, hopefully get the hood attached,  put the collar back on and then the face. new goal is to get it all done mid week, so i can do some repair work on my Kanaya to wear to the last day of the con. 

in nanowrimo news, yesterday was not productive. i only got a little over a thousand words done. the goal was 3k. i'm not fretting though. i think as long as i get something in, the daily minimum at least, once the con and birthdays and shit are over, i can buckle down the last few days of the month and get to 50k. if not, chalk up another incomplete year and wait for next november. i've got so much other stuff to write on anyway. some of which, i will bring to this blog.

speaking of writing, have some. the blog exclusive story i mentioned long, long ago. it's just a snippet, since i haven't worked on it much and don't have a lot done. the premise, numbers personified as high school kids. weird? yeah, it is, i know. but for some reason, i have always given numbers personalities and traits. it never helped me in school, because math was never my best subject. but it made them more meaningful some how. so! without further ado, the first installment of Number's Game. enjoy!

*forgive the errors, this is unedited work!*

Golden yellow light streamed through One’s bedroom window. It warmed his face and woke him up. Slowly he opened his eyes, looking up at the window and the brilliant new day outside.
He grinned. “this is it,” he whispered, then got up and headed to the bathroom.
Half an hour later, he was washed, brushed, dressed and ready for the first day of his senior year. He trotted downstairs to the kitchen and found his little brother already at the kitchen island, nibbling on toast.
“Morning Z!” he said cheerily as he grabbed a plate from the cabinet.
Zero mumbled a greeting as he dropped a pat of scrambled eggs on the floor. Like lightning, Sassafras bolted under One’s legs and scooped up the egg. The next second he leapt from the floor to Zero’s lap, up onto the island, cleaning his whiskers and paws.
“You know mom doesn’t like it when you feed the cat your food, bro,” One warned
“Are you going to tell?” Zero raised an eyebrow at his brother defiantly.
“Nope, but she’s gonna know why Sassers is on the counter.”
One took a seat at the breakfast table. Zero looked back at him warily and pulled Sassafras into his lap.

that's all you get for today, kids. just a taste is all you need. to be continued, probably after nanowrimo. tomorrow, more cosplay goodness!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

i like busy but... shit!

and busy as fuck i am. i've got several irons in the fire right now and they are ALL on a time crunch.

i'm trying my best to rock NaNoWriMo this year, as i excerpted from the novel for this year in my last post. things always go well, as long as i go to work, because i seriously do very little at work. it affords me a lot of time for my distractions (like sewing, writing novels, reading, practicing japanese... you get the idea. i don't work hard). but on those days i don't go to work, all hell breaks loose, because i cannot write at home. talk about distractions! i eat, i clean, i play games, i hang out with the lil sis, i sleep... i do everything but write. i really wish i could rectify that. but it's going to have to come to a point where i have time to not only do all the extraneous bullshit, but have dedicated sit down time (like i have at work) to be able to write at home. of the 15003 words i'm supposed to accomplish by the end of today, i have 7137. at this point, my goal is 3000 words each day to try to catch up. so enjoy the fruits of my most likely ill advised labor...

*be advised, this is a novel for NaNoWriMo, so it's going to be raw, ugly, unedited work!*

The rest of the night was divine and pleasant. After the sun set, the torches were lit. and the men enjoyed one of the finest day of age feasts Endop city had ever seen. Rayar Spellwater had arranged a sampling of every meat and vegetable the region had to offer. Halfway through the meal, he even presented his some with a rare delicacy of cake, brought from Ristia, the nearest city, over 800 treks away.
After dinner the games and entertainment resumed. But Arbitrol was still burdened. He was glad to be a man, to be free of his father’s house and his corrupt ways. But he wasn’t so sure he was ready for the real world. he would have a job, and to top it all off, a wife. He wasn’t ready, he was sure of it.
“Where is my thank you, boy?”
Arbitrol was startled by his father’s voice as he passed a tree near the city center.”
“Father! You scared me out of my skin!”
“that wasn’t my intention, but I’ll surely take my pound of flesh. You didn’t say thank you.”
“I.. I’m sure I did.”
“you didn’t. you thanked the guests. And the servents, especially that deviant sigue. Don’t think I don’t notice how much time you spend with him. You even thanked that old passgass morgory. But not me! Your own father!”
Rayar caught his volume and calmed down. “Thank me now before I beat it out of you.”
“Thank you, father! Thank you. the dinner was magnificent, especially the cake. And the amusements are the absolute best. Thank you for… raising me… to see this day. I… I’m proud to be your son. Thank you!”
“What else?” Rayar asked lowly, stepping closer to arbitrol. He fought back the urge to flinch. Rayar hated to see signs of weakness in him, most of all a flinch.
Arbitrol couldn’t think of what his father meant, then remembered. “thank your for providing me a wife! No son could get a greater gift.”
Rayar stared at his son a moment more. Arbitrol wasn’t sure what his father would say or do. it may be my day of age, but this celebration is for him. his achievement, his power. He’ll do anything he likes, even beat me if he wants to.
A greasy smile eventually curled the corners of rayar’s mouth. “You’re welcome, my one and only son. You don’t believe it when I say it, but I do love you, Arbitrol. I always have. I always will. Everything I’ve ever done was for you.”
“I know, father. Thank you. I love you too.”
Arbitrol gingerly held out his arms and his father grabbed him. they hugged for what seemed longer than appropriate to arbitrol.
“you owe everything to me. All you will ever do. remember that, arbitrol.” His father whispered. Arbitrol felt the familiar numbness he felt when his father said things like this.
“yes sir. Thank you.”
Rayar let his son go suddenly. He looked him over again, smiled, then patted his arms. “go on boy, enjoy your celebration. don’t overdo it. we still have the soire tonight to go.
“Yes sir.”

Rayar turned and strolled back toward the music and he lights of the celebration. Arbitrol was officially exhausted. Both of the party and with his father. He turned to the darkess to rest at home before the soire when he heard yelling behind him.

yeeeaaah, that's tasty. other than nanowrimo, and on a tighter deadline is my outfit for ANT, which is in less than a week. yikes! i shared the pic of my character from Dramatical Murder in the last post and i made a fair amount of progress on the cosplay today. i'm basically turning a regular tshirt into ringer tee with a furry mouse hood. i struggled with the shirt the most because i'm a big girl with tig ole bitties. every huge ass shirt was loose everywhere but my chest and it's kind of crucial for it to be loose everywhere. i might have to find a way to tie these puppies down some between now and next weekend. or everyone that sees it will just have to dispel a lot of belief. I'm leaning toward the latter. 

anywho, today i marked the tshirt sleeves to cut off to add the furry ringer tee sleeves. also took off the collar because i need to reattach it after i get the hood attached. as so:


the hood i cut weeks ago because i was excited about finding a material that not only looked good, but matched the original colors 


i went with a semi-circle cut for the hood instead of two halves. one, because i think the two halves would be ugly and two, i need the hood to be seamless, since i have to put the mousey face on it. let's hope it works out. i kind of don't have time to go buy more fabric to try it again! i'm on the verge of displaying true cosplayer behavior: down to the wire, finish the outfit the morning of the con.

so about that collar, Nao's collar is brown, to match the sleeves. i ain't got time to be dying shit, so i pulled out the good ole acrylic paints and mixed a matching brown.

that's a match, right?

my motto for a lot of this shit is "close enough". it may not be exact because i am a poor amateur cosplayer. but if you're able to scrutinize the mistakes, you're standing to close and need to move around. so i used that mix to paint the collar and it looked really good.


tomorrow i'm looking forward to cutting the sleeves off the tshirt. i'm going to use them as a pattern to make the ringer sleeves, and i might even get them attached (i hope!). once those are on, i can add the hood, put the collar back on and add the face to the hood. that's the game plan at least. here's hoping it plays out right between now and friday. i'll keep ya posted!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

i'm back, my babies!

i made a pair of these for halloween...


no big whoop, just fingerless gloves. but after making my skirt for akon this year, i realized i'm kind of into sewing. my moms tried to get me interested as a kid, but i wasn't having any of it. now, i love it. currently working on a costume to cosplay this


this cute lil guy is Nao, from a BL game called Dramatical Murder (i'm sure i've mentioned it somewhere before...). the minute his that face popped on my computer screen, i knew i had to wear that hoodie. so far, the project is going smoothly. i ordered fabric for the long stripped sleeves from this bomb site called spoonflower.com. you can design your own print on a wide variety of fabrics, or you can purchase one from the awesome designs already on the site. a week or so a go i got some furry fabric for the hood and already have it cut. i bought a tshirt to attach it all to, but it wasn't quite as baggy as i want it, so i've got a place to get another one. soon as i get that, it won't take long to finish. i just need something for he whiskers. i want them to be attached, not painted on or anything (the entire face will be attached: teeth, white snoot, nose and eyes, and ears), but i don't know what material to use. but i have a few weeks to figure it out.

Only a few weeks, Kits? why is that?

because i'm going to Anime North Texas! it's a brand new con in fort worth and i'd like to give them a try. i can't imagine how hard it is starting a new con in this town, but if it gives me another chance to cosplay, i'm all about it!

so yeah, i've been pretty crafty recently, but that doesn't mean i've given up my passion of writing. as you can see, it is november 2nd, and that means it's the second day of NaNoWriMo. for the third year in a row i'm going to do my damnedest to crank out a 50,000 word novel before november 30th. will it be complete? it's highly possible it won't be. will it be coherent? in most places, but not all. will it be littered with typos, grammatical errors, plot holes and loose ends? definitely. in years past it was my goal to actually 'win' NaNoWriMo, and by 'win' i mean get to 50,000 words. the first year, when i thought i was really cooking, i only got 13,000. last year, i managed 28. even though pressure is the name of the game, this year i just want to write. i'm off to a good start this year with a lil over a 1300 in the first day. the daily target, to get to 50k by the end of the month is 1,667. while that may not seem like a lot... it is. 

in fact, i should probably be doing that now instead of blogging. but here's an excerpt of what i have so far to tide you over, my babies. ciao!


The setting sun, the lapping waves, the faint sweet smell of the blooming tree, all nearly took Arbitrol away to the land of sleep. He’d had a long day
His father had paraded him all over the settlement today. “My greatest achievement,” Rayar had said over and over. The one he had so little to do with developing, Arbitrol had thought as he glad-handed every man they’d visited that day. It was the eve of his 19th day of age. Rayar wanted everyone to celebrate with them. And give Arbitrol gifts and currencty. He’d raised a boy and managed him to survive to 19 ages. He would certainly live to the ripe old age of 60 from there, as the people of their settlement often dreamed of.
So proud… Arbitrol thought. “and so full of shit.” he muttered as he swatted a passing insect. Before he could lay his hand back on his chest, his televice sounded twice.
“Arbi? What are you doing boy?” his father bellowed into the communicator.
“I’m here, father, I’m here,” Arbitrol moaned as he patted the ground next to him to grab the televice. He glanced at it and his eyes met his father chilling icy blue ones, set in his hansom chisled face. Arbitrol was often glad he didn’t favor his father’s sinister look.
“Are you at that tree again, boy?” Rayar sighed. “I suspect if the water wasn’t nearly acid, you’d be frolicking in that as well. Why you enjoy being outdoors, in the elements all the time is beyond me!”
“Was there something you wanted father?” Arbitrol cut in.
“Of course, I don’t contact you to talk, boy! Come back to the house, I’ve got good news for you!”
“Now?”
“Yes. Now, Arbitrol.” Rayar’s face flashed with a darkness for only a moment. Arbitrol had seen the look before. His father was not a cruel man, but he was impatient and not accustomed to being told no.
“Yes father, on my way.” Arbitrol stood, dusted himself off and headed home.



holy shit, wait i'm not done! i mentioned yesterday in my 'revival' post of sorts, that i would be revamping the site. that will more than likely happen tomorrow, whether or not i actually post anything artsy. so look forward to that. in the interim, check out the blog i DID work on today,  The GoodGirlGrind

Friday, November 1, 2013

*dusts of blog* this thing still work?

shit i hope so...

hi!

i don't suppose you missed me, did you?

well i damn sure missed you.

Well where the hell were you, Kits? why'd you leave, where'd you go?

well my babies, summer was a busy, busy, time for me. i went to afest, had a birthday ("26" years young, baby!), improved my art, took up sewing, did some partying, met some cool as hell peeps, got a second job, became re-inspired to write, committed to one more con this year, finished two video games, looking to play two more, celebrating the little sister's 18th soon, along with thanksgiving, christmas, new years... needless to say, i'm a bit exhausted and a little overwhelmed.

however, in addition to all the crap i ALREADY have going, i've added fitness and wellness to my plate. and to track the progress of said self improvement, check out my new blog, The GoodGirlGrind.

as for this lovely little spot, i'll be updating a lot more often along with The GoodGirlGrind. i won't bore you with all the action you missed in the last few months, but instead start fresh with current happenings, starting, wait for it.... tomorrow! yay you! and like my other blog, this one will be updated, looking good, connected to social medias, so on so forth.

so look forward to it, kids!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Thoughtful Others Promotion

bloooooooooooooooog!

i am posting a blog post now, lol.

so, if you're a clever dick, which i know you are, you notice the title of this post is a play on the name of that spectacular, funk nasty group Mindless Self Indulgence. of which Shut Me Up is my favorite song.


yeah, drink that in...

but! the reason for today's post is to hip you, my babies, to my best friend's podcast on Soundcloud.com. You can check her out at https://soundcloud.com/lindsay-libby-choice-mescudi. She's funny and insightful and I hope to hear so much more from her!

What about you, Kits, what have you got going on during these long absences? well, i'll tell you... jack all. a little bit of the same really. Still drawing (i think i'm getting better?), still writing furiously (yeah, I know, I promised a blog exclusive story, and i WILL deliver... eventually), gearing up for the last con of my year, AFest, gaming (goodbye The Last of Us, you were a mind fuck from beginning to end. Hello Grand Theft Auto V!) and generally trying to keep one's head above water. i believe i have too many irons in the fire. but that guarantees is that i will never be bored. what it also almost guarantees is that i will never finish anything. but you know what they say, it's about the journey, not the destination.

just rambling at this point, so i'll call it a night!



Friday, July 19, 2013

this time it's for me...

so i've embarked on a new weight loss journey this past saturday. just on a whim really. in june, at A-Kon, i went to a panel about using macro nutrients to lose weight and weight train. they gave a lot of great links and the name of an app called MyFitnessPal. I downloaded it at the time and forgot about it.

on saturday, i marveled at how much crap i've downloaded to my phone and started cleaning house when i happened upon the app again. so i started fiddling with it, entering what i'd eaten, what exercise i did(n't) do that day. I was immediately impressed with the app over any other similar app i'd used so far. it has a much more comprehensive list of foods, the ability to scan bar codes so you don;t have to enter the details for new food manually. it also sets up weight loss goals based on your lifestyle. even syncs with other apps you may be using for tracking weight or exercise and gives daily weight loss estimate.

this lil doodad inspired me. i already wanted to shed some pounds  cosplay for next years con. but using MyFitnessPal makes it seem so easy. I have a set amount of calories, meet or go below that amount (but not too much below, because it will message you not to starve yourself ;-) ). i add in my exercise and water, and it does all the awesome calculations for me.

In addition to rediscovering MyFitnessPal, a group of my friends have a Facebook group encouraging each other to work out and eat better. It was like a godsend. the weekend i start using the app, my bestie posts a new challenge for the group.


yes. my muffin top is a source of constant sorrow for me. i can deal with the fat arms and legs. but to try to wear a cute top with the gut hanging over your jeans... it's just not the business. so i've dived into this whole-heartedly. i actually started before they group officially started :-P and DAMN can i feel it already. today was day five and while walking into work today, i could feel the change in the sides of my abs. 
i'm a fat girl, but i have pretty decent ab control (years of holding it in!). in addition i'm getting in no less than 30 mins of walking a day, five days a week.today i did about 35 mins, burning almost 250 cals.

i feel good. of course it's the same with all lifestyle changes. it's fun at beginning, but a week or two in, you could slap the unholy shit out of someone for some fricking fries from Burger King. but at the same time, i'm in no hurry to lose weight. i feel like it's going to happen, little by little. i do have a goal of 60lbs by january. and i'd like to able to plank everyday for five minutes (oh the pipe dream!) but I don't feel the need to crash diet to try to lose 100 lbs in a month. i'm happy to take it slow for the first time in my fat ass life.

i dunno why it's different this time, but i like it. hopefully this weight loss adventure will be more fodder for my blog. stay tuned!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

what the fuck...

just realize I've born a hatred for guys, for they way the few I've interacted with have treated me. but I'll be damned if I'll be full throttle lesbian. what am I supposed to do now...

human romance eludes me. people are so superficial and conniving, ultimately just to fuck someone. maybe. people are genuinely in love out there, right? sex is great, but connection on a deeper level is possible. I wouldn't know personally. people only want to fuck me apparently. do I lack depth, personality? what did I do wrong, where did I go wrong?

not try I guess? always wanted a romance, but I'm not one to actively seek such things, not my nature. so since I don't throw my ass at anyone that looks at me twice, I get to be alone. and really, it's kind of a moot point. I already accepted that fact six months ago. looking forward to that anniversary, really. I suppose lil talks like this are just for my reaffirmation that I don't expect much out of life when it comes to love. which is good. I'll never be disappointed that way...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

...

blogging on the go, I guess. about to head out to work. late. on purpose.

don't. even. care.

feeling real bluh today. a lil depressed I think, not sure about what though. bad sleep last night too. 

I want spaghetti... but I'm broke.

ugh, just.... uugghh...

Monday, June 24, 2013

feeling inadequate today

so we had a family dinner yesterday, and it came to light that my cousin got engaged saturday night. i am truly happy for her. the guy she's with is nice, treats her well, they make a cute couple. and then there was me. no one said anything (much to my surprise) but i know they were all thinking that i should be next. well, i'm not going to be. not that i don't want to. i too would love a down ass boo to make me his real ride or die wifey. but as i started this blog, i mentioned all the reasons that will not happen. but if it were to happen, i've realized the criteria my suitor would have to posses in order to woo me and win my hand. it's only three things, but they are crucial.


  • must love/accept anime/manga. this is non-negotiable. if i'm re-watching my favorite anime for the 9 billionth time, not one disparaging word better be heard



  • must love a gamer girl. all games, all platforms, all the time. i don't discriminate, but if you do, you can't be my boo.



  • must love a cosplayer. i've discovered it and i love it. deal.


my criteria for a guy is all about me? well yeah, it appears so. of course there are the other things like intelligence, sense of humor, personality, the 'norm', so to speak. but these are kind of hardcore deal breakers too. see why i'm in no rush to find my mr? quite honestly, he'd have to be a male version of me to come even close. and that thought itself is little scary. but if you're out there, sir, and you stumble across this someday, look me up. i'll be around...

Monday, June 17, 2013

product placement!

had a busy mind last night. my nephew is in the hospital and a family friend passed away. i couldn't sleep, my head was too full. so I tried the nature sounds radio on pandora, but it was just like a bunch of New Age music. went to the App Store instead and found a great app for white noise and nature sounds: Relax Melodies. I got the free version, but it's still pretty cool.  you can mix and match the 40+ sounds, including two binaural wave sounds, to create your personal peaceful sound. it also has a timer and alarm to time out the app and/or wake you up. after testing a few sounds, I finally fell asleep to a woman humming a lullaby. sweet and simple. if you're need cool down sounds, something for meditation or relaxation, check out Relax Melodies 

 :-)

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

so, I'm a gamer

post on the go... kinda...

it's a slow Wednesday, and I'm dedicating my time to leveling cards on Legend of the Cryptids. if you've never heard of it, don't download it. it's a beautiful, addictive card game available for iOS and Android. been playing almost a year now (as the game itself celebrates it's first anniversary) and I haven't put it down yet. however, today is about tedium, as I've collected too many cards and have to level duplicates in order to merge them to make room for more cards. I have a bit of OCD in this respect that I want all cards to be matched. all the cards collected go into a gallery, and I hate sewing cards in my gallery not fully actualized. anywho, gonna be at it a while, but needed a break. until next time kids, hopefully with something slightly more interesting...

Friday, June 7, 2013

blogging on the goooo!

downloaded the blogger app and testing it out. so far, I likes. gonna save my pics and stories for the web version, but a quick post about bitches not washing their hands in a public potty, ZOOM!

so about bitches not washing their hands in a public potty. you may think you're 'clean', but that's not to say the bitch that used the stall before you was. wash your goddamn hands people!

*end public service announcement*

Friday, May 24, 2013

hey man, it's a post!

today is mostly about sharing this song that my lil sister has so kindly gotten stuck in my head. i do like the song, but if i don't get it out by sharing with you, i'm gonna get it out with a bullet. enjoy!


in other news, gearing up big time for A-Kon 24! first year cosplaying for the first time ever as this darling lil troll, Kanaya Maryam

ain't she cute!

it seemed such a simple thing at first, t-shirt with he symbol, skirt, shoes and horns. but this has become a multi-hundred dollar, weeks long process. and after planning since january, and starting to purchase the parts in february, i'm down to a week left and i'm still not done. i, quite honestly, don't see how professional cosplayers do it. but it's been a fun as hell ride, and when things work right, it's beautiful to see. just finished her horns today and have her wig ready for wearing. check me out!


really looking forward to this kon. gonna be a lot of great guests and stuff to do. will post pics once i return!

Friday, May 3, 2013

April missed me, but May kissed me

so yeah, still not dead. still gonna post this wittle blog.

a skinny on the things since the last post. lots o' work. junk around the house. new interests, new projects. added to the pandemonium that is my brain: my cosplay for A-Kon, five coursera courses at one time (god help me!), scribophile.com, torn.com, the first bit of my blog exclusive story 'Number's Game', Dramatical Murder and much much more.

BUT i am posting tonight because i set myself up for heartache tonight. I got a nod from a cutie on a dating site (don't judge me or call me a hypocrite, i've been on that site WELL before i denounced my love life!). so i messaged said cutie and have obsessively been checking the phone and email ever since to see if he happens to message back. what. in the fuck. is wrong. with me....

anywho, have some dubstep. not my favorite version, but a tasty one nonetheless...


Saturday, March 9, 2013

i'm not dead, i swear!

while i haven't posted in a good while, i have been busy. behold...




i may not be able to draw very well, but i can color like a motherfucker.

i'm on a bit of a calavera kick. i know, i'm five months too late for Dios dos Muertos, but still. something beautiful about the hispanic culture and their celebration of the dead.

also in the works is my blog exclusive vinette series, "Numbers Game." it's kind of a coming of age, young adult drama with a group ten friends. there will be, of course, the normal teen angst, but i hope it's told with an interesting twist and unexpected surprises. look forward to that (i sure do!)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

filler post!

gonna be posting some photography tomorrow as soon as i get some sources. wants to be all legal and polite about posting other folks art!

Friday, February 22, 2013

3 days later...

no, not dead. not done blogging already either. life got a bit distracting.

real short post to say that SMUT WILL COME SOON. in the meantime, have a horse...




Tuesday, February 19, 2013

sorry sports fans!

i REALLY wanted to post some smut today, but i'm afraid it's gonna have to wait until morning, kids. just for the wait, i'll make it extra raunchy

also, gonna start an episodic lil writing thing, exclusively for this blog! i'll post other writings as well. but this idea has been with me almost all of my life, and i think this would be a fun place to share it. look forward to it!

shit i'm dealing with...

early post today, need to rant. fun, smexy stuff to be posted later...

 maybe i was raised too tough. maybe i'm not sensitive enough to the psychological disorders of others. unfortunately, i have very limited fucks that i can give.

when i had issues, problems or doubts growing up, my mom and dad shut that shit down because i had too much more important stuff to deal with. i had grades to maintain so i could graduate and go to college. these were my priorities and my parents made sure i fucking stuck with them, no matter how much i hated people at school or how (i thought) i'd never be able to do anything that i ever wanted because i wasn't good enough in some aspect. i wasn't afforded a mental crutch.

and to this day, i maintain that mentality. shit gets hard, fucked up, not fair, makes me want to quit. but i STILL FUCKING KEEP GOING. i deal with stuff appropriately and i take action. which is why i don't easily feed into the "poor baby" when someone has a few minor problems. and i sure as fuck don't believe in medicating problems away. how the fuck do you learn to truly deal with fucking reality when you spend all your fucking time disjointed from in in a drug induced daze.

it seems like the whole world around me is going mental. body image issues, depression... a sorts of shit i don't even want to list. and to me, these are petty issues. there are people with serious disorders and chemical imbalances that they can't help. they have room to be down and sensitive about that. but every other whiny, lazy shit, cheer the fuck up, buttercup. you're not fucking special because you have two bad days in a row.

that sounds so mean, but fuck, it's true. you're unhappy, well fucking find something that makes you happy, as long as it's not destructive to self or others. you had a rough childhood. well fuck, you lived, now you're an adult. run your life according to now, not back then. people don't like you. well fuck, either fix what's wrong or find people who do. am i simplifying this? yes, or course, but the bottom line, shit is fixable, but it requires work. what does not fix the problem is wallowing in pity and self doubt. this world is meant for the taking for ANYONE willing to make a fucking effort and grab it by the balls. SO GO GET YOURSELF A BIG OLE CHUNK OF FUCKING LIFE. please. Mussolini said that "inactivity is death." so if you're spending all your time moping about what you can't do, don't want to do, wish you could do, buy a shovel, find some land and start digging your grave. because you're clearly giving up on life.

i'm not saying skydiving every morning, parties every weekend, sex with breakfast, lunch and dinner. what i am saying is get a fucking grip, find your passion, and fucking follow it. fucking DO SOMETHING.

part of the problem with this modern, mental, society is that everyone is too inwardly focused. my life, my career, my income, my status, my looks. horseshit. you are not the center of the universe, because if you were, you wouldn't worry about how you look, your past, how people treat you, so on and so forth. there was a time in the world (yeah, a long time ago) when survival meant focusing on real problems, like if my crops don't grow, my family starves. if i can't protect my village, wild animals will devour us. if i don't gather some fucking wood, my ass will be homeless and freeze to death. now with our first world problems, we don't get the newest bullshit materialistic icon, we're hanging ourselves in closets.

"have you had down times or been depressed? do you even know what it's like, Kits?". of course i fucking have. and in that moment, it fucking sucks. nothing seems worth anything. but i write this now, today, on the other side of this shit because, if nothing else, i had shit to do. i had to walk the dog. i had to go by my mother's house. i had an errand to run. there is always something, even little asinine shit like that, to keep you going. it's like baby steps to getting back to the side of life where it's better. and eventually, you get there and you can say, damn, i'm glad i didn't off myself last week after i lost 100 bucks. today is really nice out! and from there, the world is your oyster. you can do anything, but it takes a little effort and little work, and you can live the life of your dreams. please try it.

please don't take this as a bashing of psychology, psychiatry or people with genuine conditions. i am a student of psychology; i kind of know what the fuck i'm talking about. what i take offense with is using psychology to treat every little minor issue so people don't have accountability. which is so pc these days, it might as well be gospel. i just would love a world where the people that truly need help can get it. and the whiners can get the fuck over themselves and own their lives.

Monday, February 18, 2013

5 years

i seem to have one silent follower so far. hello! also, extra long post (yeah, i can get verbose...), so strap in for it...

SO! today i'm doublin' up the music for a lack of such yesterday. first is the title of this post, by bjork. so many things i love about bjork: she beautiful, she's odd, she's talented, she humble and she's a humanitarian. this particular song is one of my favorites because of the passion you can hear in her. singing a song is fine, but i love artists and music in which i can truly feel what the artist feels, and when you can really tell they perform for the love of the music.



next up, a lesser known artist that's been around for a while, but i'm almost positive you've never heard of him, antony and the johnsons. while i'm tempted to post 'hope there's some one", which is the song i fell in love with him for, i think it would be a neater to post an unusual cover of beyonce's "crazy in love". have a listen!



weird and amazing, right?
*wink*

even with all this musics, i feel the need to post some words as well. today's sampling is one that is very dear to me as it is an excerpt to the first installment of my first finished novel (that's a lot of firsts!). it's also one i share with people most often that ask (or don't) about my writing. a bit of world building: the main character you meet in this excerpt is a genetically enhanced assassin, tasked by her creator to eliminate a despot. she has entered a particular facility in a rescue attempt. hope you enjoy this snippet of her story!

It was dark in SL6, but Mo caught the flash of a camera lens as the elevator doors opened. Immediately she tumbled out of the elevator and jumped into the nearest shadow. She lay motionless for some time, always waiting to hear footsteps or guns being drawn. When she was sure there would be none, she crouched in the dim light of what appeared to be a storage room for the compound. It was a huge room, with rows and rows of high metal shelves filled with everything you might need to start a small war. Guns, armor, ammunition, the list went on. ‘Great,’ she thought. ‘I pick the floor where Anstin is least likely to be.’ Since she was there, she began searching around for anything she could use, staying as much to the shadows as possible. On a shelf, she found rucksacks, much larger than her own. She took one and transferred her things from the old pack to the new. Once she finished she sat on the floor, deciding what to do with the old bag. Finally she buried in the bottom of the pile of police packs. ‘By the time they find it, this whole mess will be over. Besides, Touk and I were careful. There’s no way they can trace it back to him or me,’ she thought confidently. Mo had a credit account that Ronan had set up with fake information. Should anyone look into her, they would think she was a wealthy widow living in the south continent on Capelle. Touk had a similar account, but the back story for his account was of a traveling salesman that frequented the Seasoned Arms on his travels.
“Which is excellent for explaining transactions both from the hotel and around different parts of the state,” Touk had explained. “But what I’ll do in this instance, is withdraw the cash from here. That way there will be no records showing a transaction at an outfitter.”
One of the Opposition Front members in Magrat worked for the State bank and created an account for an individual that never existed for Touk. All Touk had to do was make the first small deposit and he could funnel money through the account to anyone he liked as long as he had a contact on the inside.
With the pack stashed, Mo went on looking for more equipment. In a large crate near a wall, she discovered State police uniforms. She scrounged through them until she found one that would fit her and put it on, placing her own clothes in her new pack. In full police clad, she could walk around a little more freely and search the place for Anstin. As she began heading back for the elevator, she noticed something she missed before, but shouldn’t have. A large brick room painted black was built in the middle of the storage room. ‘That could be it!’ she thought. Mo went to the room and walked three of its four sides before she found the door, marked with a large red H. “H?” she wondered out loud. She tried the door handle and, to her surprise, it opened. Inside, the room was not any better lit than the storage room. It was empty except for steel barrels stacked in each of the four corners. Giant 6’s were painted in yellow on all four walls. And in the center of the floor was a target, with alternating white and black circles, surrounding a red dot. Mo’s genius failed to make the connection, but the sound of a motor starting and the sudden upward motion of the floor helped her think. “HELICOPTER!” she gasped.
The ceiling opened above her and she stumbled and crawled her way to the closest set of barrels and ducked behind them. From her hiding place, she watched the walls melt away under her to the fifth floor, the fourth, and finally coming to a stop on the third. On the other side of the barrels a clatter of boot falls and voices entered the room. “Not too close to the edges this time, alright boys,” called a voiced. There was some hushed conversation after this and helipad continued its voyage upward. The second floor gave way to the first, and finally above her the ceiling opened up to the evening desert sky and hot sand and wind flew into the shaft of the helipad as it emerged to ground level.
In the same instant, Mo saw a large black copter fly over her. “Hey!” a voiced from it shouted at her. She looked up and saw the state officers aboard the copter had seen her. It landed behind her hiding place and she stood, her mind working swiftly on possible escapes. Suddenly, they were on her. Five State police officers, all armed with M16’s, all pointed at her.
"Just what the hell do you call yourself doing, soldier?” one of the officers boomed. Mo just shook her head and looked down.
I asked you question-”
“Sergeant! Bring him to me,” shouted another man. The sergeant motioned with his gun for Mo to get moving and she was escorted to a man in a suit. He was tall, with a good athletic build, eyes the color of early morning mist and a ponytail full of hair so black and sleek, it shimmered red in the fading light of the day. Between him and the helicopter, stood another man. Much younger, he was dressed in dirty jeans and a t-shirt and appeared to be scared and confused.
“Well, well. Do we have ourselves some kind of deserter here?” he asked casually. Mo glanced up at him quickly, but in that fraction of a second, their eyes met. She said nothing, but kept her face down. The man looked at her closely, his brow furrowing in confusion, and frowned. Without another word, he raised his hand and knocked the helmet off Mo’s head. A tumble of dark red hair cascaded to her shoulders and into her face.
A collective gasp and an amazed, quasi-aroused “It’s a GIRL!” followed. With her secret revealed, Mo knew she had nothing to lose and in her mind a solution had formulated. The man in the suit eyed Mo with what was almost amazement. “Who are you and how did you get here?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she answered softly, raising her head to meet his eyes.
“Doesn’t it? How do you suppose?”
“Because I’m about to leave.”
“About to-” Mo grabbed the gun out away from a soldier to her right and butted him with it, sending him stumbling backwards. Before the rest could respond, she hit the ground and tripped the soldier standing next to the gunless soldier with a leg sweep. His finger gripped the trigger as he fell, spraying bullets into a soldier opposite him and into the air. “Get her you asshole!” the sergeant yelled to the last officer. Mo turned on him, still crouched to the ground. As she stood, she took one step toward the sergeant with her left foot and brought the other foot straight up in a kick to the sergeant’s chin. His knees buckled beneath him and hit the ground, unconscious.  Mo quickly turned the gun on the last soldier standing. The tripped solider regained himself and pointed his weapon on her and shouted shakily, “That’s it! Move and I blast you!”
“Hold your fire, soldier.” Suit Man walked through the two soldiers and directly into Mo’s face. His eyes never left hers as he commanded them, “Stand down, return to the helicopter and prepare for departure. She watched as the two soldiers gathered their fallen men and shoved the other young man into the copter. In her distraction, the man snatched the gun from her and tossed it away. Mo lifted a hand to strike, but he grabbed her wrist mid-swing.
“Ah ah, that’s not very nice,” he mocked. “You’re good, very good indeed. And beautiful on top of that. I don’t know how you got here, but I’m willing to spare your life if you’d be willing to join the State. We could use someone like you. I could even offer you a place in the Alliance. All you'd need is a little re-education.”
“Let Anstin go. Or you won’t live to offer me anything!” Mo hissed back. The Suit glanced at the boy in the helicopter, then returned his gaze to Mo. But his expression had changed to disappointment.
“You’re one of his parent’s Opposition buddies. We have no use for you. How you got this close to our operations, I don’t know, but it’s too bad. You would have made one hell- OH!”  Mo cut him short with a swift blow to the sternum. “ANSTIN! I’m here to help! RUN!” she cried. Only Anstin never moved, only watched with dull fascination.
The man in the suit had never let go of Mo’s wrist, and twisted so it was pushed painfully against her back. “Quiet!” he shushed angrily. “You’ll ruin his programming.” With all her strength, Mo thrust her free elbow back at the man’s head. He leaned back to dodge, but let her wrist go in the compromise. It was all the room Mo needed to turn and drive him back with a series of kicks and punches. He blocked and avoided every one with the skill of a master and the style of a model.
From the copter a voice shouted “Sir! Fifty men are headed to the roof. We have to get the subject out of here!”
“Agreed!” he shouted back. He ducked under one more back swing of Mo’s arm before driving a hard fist into her rib cage, stopping her assault. Mo staggered back as he ran to the helicopter and bounded inside as it took off. Mo began to give chase but, beyond the rising helicopter, a trap door opened out of the helipad’s surface and State police began pouring out of it. Instead, Mo ran to the edge of the helipad. Below her was nothing but sand. Behind her, an increasing number of State police officers and a helicopter aiming to plow her down. She closed her eyes, took a breath and dove, just as bullets began to fly at her back. The copter rushed over her head and, before she was immersed in sand, she noted it was headed southwest. Mo burrowed deep into the sand until she was sure she wasn’t visible from the surface. Bullets drilled all around her, some coming quite close, but none touched her. Soon they stopped all together. She waited: three minutes passed, then another ten. She was about to complete the next twenty when her lungs ached for air. She began to dig upwards and, after 27 minutes underground, she emerged gasping and exhausted. She looked up at the helipad but there was no one there. She only gave herself a moment’s rest; she was sure soldiers were on their way to make sure she was dead. She dragged herself out of the sand and looked in the direction the helicopter had gone. She decided today was not the day to chase, but the day to flee. She climbed over the rise beyond where she had taken her dive and found herself back in the flat area just beyond where she first sighted the periscope. She ripped her bag from her back, changed back to her camouflage in mere seconds, buried the police uniform in the sand, then buried herself. The sun was already very low on the horizon. ‘If they do look for my body, they can’t look for long in this light. And flashlights would give away their location to anyone that might dare wander into the desert,’ she thought. So there she lay, nearly mummifying in the heat of the sand, well beyond sunset, beyond the rising of the moon and after. Eventually, she shifted from her sandy hiding place and headed north to find refuge in Penthara until she had a chance to contact Ronan and make her next move.
Copyright© K. Knight 2011
hope you enjoyed that, kids. thanks for reading. lastly, i feel the need to live up to my +18 warning tomorrow and post some risque art or prose. sex for the sake of sex? a lil bit. but also because human sexuality, and all it's expressions is as fascinating as any artform to me. i personally don't label my sexuality. i know what i like i know when i find it. for me, at least, it's sometimes difficult to express or define relationships with others that aren't strictly platonic or strictly antagonistic. i'm a weird, feely type person...

so what shall you look forward to in the way of adult content? not sure yet. a bit of prose, pictures and art. maybe more. nothing has struck me as post worthy, so tomorrow's offering will literally be for the sake of sex. look forward to it...
shifty eyes