Friday, November 29, 2013

fucking sad

I feel like a the harbinger of death. four people in the last four months have died around me. it's fucking heart breaking; three of them were good friends, people I can say I loved in some way.

life is not fucking fair sometimes. I want to scream, fight, cry, do something to try to change it, anything. but there's no changing fact: life is unfair to all of us at some point.

it's hard going about daily business, hurting like this. people around you are happy, having great times. and part of me is angry, like 'don't you know someone just died? have a little decency.' but they don't fucking know. and someone, several people even, die every second of the day.

they are also born every second of the day, though. we ignore both facts as facts of life, so to speak. I don't know know much about reincarnation, but I believe it involves being reborn in a better life if you did well in your past one, or vice versa. if applicable, I want my parted friends to reincarnate into awesome lives, because they led great ones already.

I fucking miss them. all of them. by the Christian faith I was raised in, I would get to see them again in glory. that wouldn't be half bad either. I could use one more joke, one more hug, one more song.

making myself sad now. kits out...

No comments:

Post a Comment