shit i'm dealing with...

early post today, need to rant. fun, smexy stuff to be posted later...

 maybe i was raised too tough. maybe i'm not sensitive enough to the psychological disorders of others. unfortunately, i have very limited fucks that i can give.

when i had issues, problems or doubts growing up, my mom and dad shut that shit down because i had too much more important stuff to deal with. i had grades to maintain so i could graduate and go to college. these were my priorities and my parents made sure i fucking stuck with them, no matter how much i hated people at school or how (i thought) i'd never be able to do anything that i ever wanted because i wasn't good enough in some aspect. i wasn't afforded a mental crutch.

and to this day, i maintain that mentality. shit gets hard, fucked up, not fair, makes me want to quit. but i STILL FUCKING KEEP GOING. i deal with stuff appropriately and i take action. which is why i don't easily feed into the "poor baby" when someone has a few minor problems. and i sure as fuck don't believe in medicating problems away. how the fuck do you learn to truly deal with fucking reality when you spend all your fucking time disjointed from in in a drug induced daze.

it seems like the whole world around me is going mental. body image issues, depression... a sorts of shit i don't even want to list. and to me, these are petty issues. there are people with serious disorders and chemical imbalances that they can't help. they have room to be down and sensitive about that. but every other whiny, lazy shit, cheer the fuck up, buttercup. you're not fucking special because you have two bad days in a row.

that sounds so mean, but fuck, it's true. you're unhappy, well fucking find something that makes you happy, as long as it's not destructive to self or others. you had a rough childhood. well fuck, you lived, now you're an adult. run your life according to now, not back then. people don't like you. well fuck, either fix what's wrong or find people who do. am i simplifying this? yes, or course, but the bottom line, shit is fixable, but it requires work. what does not fix the problem is wallowing in pity and self doubt. this world is meant for the taking for ANYONE willing to make a fucking effort and grab it by the balls. SO GO GET YOURSELF A BIG OLE CHUNK OF FUCKING LIFE. please. Mussolini said that "inactivity is death." so if you're spending all your time moping about what you can't do, don't want to do, wish you could do, buy a shovel, find some land and start digging your grave. because you're clearly giving up on life.

i'm not saying skydiving every morning, parties every weekend, sex with breakfast, lunch and dinner. what i am saying is get a fucking grip, find your passion, and fucking follow it. fucking DO SOMETHING.

part of the problem with this modern, mental, society is that everyone is too inwardly focused. my life, my career, my income, my status, my looks. horseshit. you are not the center of the universe, because if you were, you wouldn't worry about how you look, your past, how people treat you, so on and so forth. there was a time in the world (yeah, a long time ago) when survival meant focusing on real problems, like if my crops don't grow, my family starves. if i can't protect my village, wild animals will devour us. if i don't gather some fucking wood, my ass will be homeless and freeze to death. now with our first world problems, we don't get the newest bullshit materialistic icon, we're hanging ourselves in closets.

"have you had down times or been depressed? do you even know what it's like, Kits?". of course i fucking have. and in that moment, it fucking sucks. nothing seems worth anything. but i write this now, today, on the other side of this shit because, if nothing else, i had shit to do. i had to walk the dog. i had to go by my mother's house. i had an errand to run. there is always something, even little asinine shit like that, to keep you going. it's like baby steps to getting back to the side of life where it's better. and eventually, you get there and you can say, damn, i'm glad i didn't off myself last week after i lost 100 bucks. today is really nice out! and from there, the world is your oyster. you can do anything, but it takes a little effort and little work, and you can live the life of your dreams. please try it.

please don't take this as a bashing of psychology, psychiatry or people with genuine conditions. i am a student of psychology; i kind of know what the fuck i'm talking about. what i take offense with is using psychology to treat every little minor issue so people don't have accountability. which is so pc these days, it might as well be gospel. i just would love a world where the people that truly need help can get it. and the whiners can get the fuck over themselves and own their lives.