what the fuck...

just realize I've born a hatred for guys, for they way the few I've interacted with have treated me. but I'll be damned if I'll be full throttle lesbian. what am I supposed to do now...

human romance eludes me. people are so superficial and conniving, ultimately just to fuck someone. maybe. people are genuinely in love out there, right? sex is great, but connection on a deeper level is possible. I wouldn't know personally. people only want to fuck me apparently. do I lack depth, personality? what did I do wrong, where did I go wrong?

not try I guess? always wanted a romance, but I'm not one to actively seek such things, not my nature. so since I don't throw my ass at anyone that looks at me twice, I get to be alone. and really, it's kind of a moot point. I already accepted that fact six months ago. looking forward to that anniversary, really. I suppose lil talks like this are just for my reaffirmation that I don't expect much out of life when it comes to love. which is good. I'll never be disappointed that way...