Tuesday, November 3, 2015

what's going on today?

I've been a jealous, salty bitch all day. first I was jeally because everyone in the break room was either on the phone or talkin in little cliques. I sat on the side and wrote a little. it is nanowrimo, after all.

then this afternoon I was salty because everyone kept talking about how cute this broad dresses and how she never wears the same thing twice. well, aside from my shoes, since I literally have none, neither have I. maybe twice in three months. but no, I don't dress cute. that shit is reserved for skinny broads and well-to-do fat broads. I ain't neither.

not sure what's got me acting like this today. most time I literally give no fucks what other people are doing or saying. today though, everything and everyone is niggling at my loneliness and insecurities.

in other news, I just want to talk to or see the DM. legit, no moves. just hang out. thing is, I know it's just an ask away. really, this man will do anything for me, I need only say the world. without any suggestion or inclination on my part, he offered his house for my other D&D group. he knows none of the players (only one he will meet this weekend), but is ok with them coming into his home with his dogs. I see it and hear it almost every time we interact. I could so easily exploit it if I wanted to. but I don't want that. I want him. he just has to say the word.

alright, done. but have some music, and consider staying with me...

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