Friday, November 27, 2015

I dunno

weird, long day.

spent a decent thanksgiving with my older sister's family. we left this morning early, she had work. we got back, ran a few errands and I was home by 10. the lil and her crew were jammin up my house, since they apparently can't hang out anywhere else but here. anywho, I took a couple of the knuckleheads to Walmart, had an adventure, got some food and came home. in like 45 mins of me finishing the dark crystal and another 10-15 of fighting Netflix to find something else to watch, all hell quietly broke loose.

the kids were in and out the door and I finally asked the lil if her beau went to the car. I left my charger out there and I though he could be a champ and get it for me. she didn't know where he was, and after one more in and out, she got fed up and stopped looking for him. my phone was on 20% so I just braved the cold and went to get the charger my damn self. as I'm going to the car, he comes walking down the sidewalk. I tell him the lil is flipping her shit looking for him, but I glean from his face, he needed a few to himself. I think no biggie, the kids fight all the time. I keep fooling around online and eventually decide to play the game beau and their other friend was telling me about. but when I go to ask him about the game, the lil is crying in the living room, the beau looks like he's packing, her bestie is huddled in a corner and the other knucklehead is nowhere to be found. the air is heavy and I go back to bullshitting online. an hour or so passes and after much murmuring and whimpering and shit, I scope the scene by turning the heat off. in my effort to stay out of the situation, I was damn near cooking my bacon. I find the beau staring at the lil who is balled up next to the laundry closet door and again I just excuse myself out. soon yet another friend of theirs shows up and the beau leaves with him. finally I try to broach the subject with the lil, but she's crazy distraught and her bestie is not giving up any answers. I fear the kids have parted ways. I checked their relationship statuses for a while and nothing's changed, but the beau posted a cryptic message, then finally messaged me about all his shit in my house. so I just asked him, and confirmed, they broke up. all in the time it took to get tacos and eat them. I wouldn't mind the details, but at the same time, I don't care. they are kids. and will probably be back together in a matter of a week because they are literally all the other person has. and if not, oh fucking well. they are 20. they got plenty of life to find new love. unlike some  of us.

I say all this to express a little bit of how weird a day this is and how it feels. I was planning on going to the spa tonight, despite no one I asked being able to go, but now I don't know. feels like bad juju to leave the house tonight. which sucks after I planned for this all month. I just feel anxious.

I felt like this Tuesday too, and it made me think about the DM. I've flipped all over from angry to sad to confused,daily, several times a day. today, mostly confused. I won't beat the dead horse, but he just showed so many overt signs of interest, what the hell made him shut it off when the fucking time came?

dunno, whatever. his fucking loss I guess. just a wild weird day, disappointing week. just- ugh. gonna finish this movie and probably call it an early night. suddenly back to pissed.

stay with me...

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