Thursday, August 27, 2015

just thinking...

I'm fat. no denying it, not terribly ashamed of it.

but it's kind of an ugly fat. it's not the pretty round stretch mark free kind if fat that you see in body positive promotions.

my stomach looks like branches of a dead tree. my tits hang. my thighs are rubbery bags of cottage cheese. I have no ass. got bat wings and a couple of chins.

but I'm pretty enough, fully clothed, and I clean up real nice. just, fat, still. dont know why I'm thinking or writing about this. just marinating in an insecurity I suppose.

if I grinded, really busted my ass to work out, the weight would drop off, tine up my most problem of broken areas. i know this. I just don't have the motivation or, currently, outlet. I wanna dance my ass off. but I live in a second floor apartment, and I ain't "that neighbor."

there is a place close to work that does a discount on adult dance classes because of my job. once my money is back in order, I really want to sign up. except it will be really tough to fit in my schedule. but, it might be a sacrice I have to make. seriously thinking about it.

I don't have shit else of value to say. till next time, stay with me...

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