but needs must be met first. I gotta keep a rio over my head, feed myself and my animals. I gotta pay bills.
spare time is precious and I have very little. I don't always spend it wisely though. resolution, not New Years, since it's March, but resolved nonetheless: I need to get paid to something I actually enjoy. write, paint, color, draw, sew, something. keep the 'day' job because I'm not stupid, but do something I actually like to fulfill myself through the drudgery of reality.
I think I need to change my hours at work, number one. evenings pay well, but they don't leave a lot of time during the day. midnights pay more and I'd have the better part of the day to do things. come home at 9, sleep till twelve, create till about 830, nap before work. maybe. the body adjustment will be hard, but of course, it would be worth it.
I played a text game not long ago about depression. it was quite good, and in it, the protagonist had a project that helped them get through difficult times. while I'm not as depressed as the game character, a creative goal and something other than games and Netflix would do me good, I believe.
I just want to give something to the world. maybe be remembered. I don't feel I was destined to be mediocre. I have to break away from my own life, be a special little snowflake, if only to a few.
that's my resolve. stay with me as I try as hard as I can to achive something...