too fat, too ugly, too young/old, or maybe he's just dating someone else. whatever it is, my attitude on Saturdays from now on is going to be different.
I don't want to spurn the group for my own stupidity, but I'm dialing it back. I need to, have to. since this has happened, and I see it's going nowhere, I think (probably wrong) I might be getting this out of my system.
of course I still thought about him in my fantasy land, but the high wasn't nearly as much as when I thought I had a shot. it even seems a little pathetic and sick.
oh well. I'm getting sleepy and tomorrow is kind of a big day, so lights out for me. this ends this weekend. stay with me for the mediocre conclusion to crushgate...