pics to post real soon (tomorrow, after i collect them and take more?).
stay with me...
Friday, May 23, 2014
quiet, i know...
i'm just really busy. but it's good. i'm getting things done. one or two life changes as well to report.
Monday, May 5, 2014
thought for day...
some people like to live complicated lives. don't let their life complicate yours too...
Sunday, May 4, 2014
bluuuh...
hi.
what to talk about, what to talk about...
today i went to church, came home and hung with the second fam, now i'm at work.
not that exciting.
what else we go? cosplay? setback in the wig/horn department. sewed the snaps into the wig, no problem. tried to attach the horns to the wig, the horn material is way too soft and the snaps are way too sturdy. gonna have to instamorph a stronger base into the horns so i don't crush them trying to attach them.
also fucked up the pants somehow. the back panels are two inches longer than the front ones, and do weird things on the sides. i consulted my mother on what i did wrong and and how to fix it. it's gonna get weird, but i can do it. but after she gave me the solution, i haven't had the desire to continue that part of the project.
counted out the things i have left to do and it seems like i'm not getting anything done. crunch time...
not really feeling this post, so i won't drag it out. just sending out lots of love and positive energies to the universe. next time, maybe some smut. it's been a while, stay with me...
what to talk about, what to talk about...
today i went to church, came home and hung with the second fam, now i'm at work.
not that exciting.
what else we go? cosplay? setback in the wig/horn department. sewed the snaps into the wig, no problem. tried to attach the horns to the wig, the horn material is way too soft and the snaps are way too sturdy. gonna have to instamorph a stronger base into the horns so i don't crush them trying to attach them.
also fucked up the pants somehow. the back panels are two inches longer than the front ones, and do weird things on the sides. i consulted my mother on what i did wrong and and how to fix it. it's gonna get weird, but i can do it. but after she gave me the solution, i haven't had the desire to continue that part of the project.
counted out the things i have left to do and it seems like i'm not getting anything done. crunch time...
not really feeling this post, so i won't drag it out. just sending out lots of love and positive energies to the universe. next time, maybe some smut. it's been a while, stay with me...
Saturday, May 3, 2014
one size don't fit all...
real talk time, my babies. kits has learned a life lesson.
the collection of experiences we call life are not going to be the same for everyone. and that is perfectly ok.
i'm an optimist. i try to see the good and the positive potential in everyone i come across. i genuinely want the best for everyone. what kind of bitch-dick would want to misery to befall everyone? it takes a lot for a person to fall so far out of favor with me that i would want less than the best possible for a person. it's sad, but it has happened.
but what i think is the best possible outcome for a person might not fit what they see as the best possible outcome. neither is necessarily wrong, just different.
problems arise, however, when a body tries to impose their ideal on someone else's life. it's not their life anymore, it's someone else's image of what it should be. unless that person is responsive and agrees with the vision, it causes nothing but strife for both parties. the imposed person rebels, the imposer is upset by the rebellion. it's not a good look for anyone involved. i am an imposer. i want the best for people too much. so much that it interferes with their current state of happy.
i can't help it. i am ever a servant. if i can give a word, a dollar, share an experience or my time to someone else and they have it a little bit better or easier because of it, my corner of the universe is better too. i don't base my happiness in other people, that would be weird and folly. but i like to do what i can for people when i can.
but i have been burned, pretty bad. i tried to help, my help was not wanted, but i kept pushing, kept wanting more and better and different. i tried to brow beat, and got brow beaten. i was angry and frustrated and disgusted and disappointed and sad and a myriad of feels in between. ultimately to be numb. there was no fight left in this dog. then it hit me, the epiphany: this is not my life.
it was twofold: i am not living the life of the person i'm trying to influence. they've got their own thing going on. and as much as i think it could use improvement, ultimately, i can't live their life for them. and i am not living my own life the way that i want it to when i chase after people to maintain something that is clearly not meant to be. it doesn't mean i don't care, because i do. i'm not that heartless bitch-dick. i care too much. it's just not conducive to this particular situation. i will care from a very far distance.
so now, i believe in letting people do whatever the fuck they want. i can suggest, express my views. but if a person ain't hearing, they ain't hearing. no need to press the issue. i don't have to like their life or expose myself to it. if it gets bad enough, i can just walk away. no one needs these kinds of feels. it goes against my being, but i've got to learn to let go and let people do them.
i always liked the saying "reach for the moon. even if you fall, you fall among the stars." not everyone wants stars. they just want to stay on earth. some people want to be underground. some want to float in the ether. some want to go to moon and back. some want to go even further. some want to live among the clouds forever. and all of them are entitled to their choices and views and lives. leave them there, everyone's happiness is relative.
*deep breath* i feel a little better. i've dumped the negativity and i'm gonna try to get back to my center over the next few days. i'm gonna be a bit of alright.
next post will hopefully feature the extreme highs and deep lows of cosplay. and maybe some other stuff, i dunno. flying by the seat of my pants as always, stay with me...
the collection of experiences we call life are not going to be the same for everyone. and that is perfectly ok.
i'm an optimist. i try to see the good and the positive potential in everyone i come across. i genuinely want the best for everyone. what kind of bitch-dick would want to misery to befall everyone? it takes a lot for a person to fall so far out of favor with me that i would want less than the best possible for a person. it's sad, but it has happened.
but what i think is the best possible outcome for a person might not fit what they see as the best possible outcome. neither is necessarily wrong, just different.
problems arise, however, when a body tries to impose their ideal on someone else's life. it's not their life anymore, it's someone else's image of what it should be. unless that person is responsive and agrees with the vision, it causes nothing but strife for both parties. the imposed person rebels, the imposer is upset by the rebellion. it's not a good look for anyone involved. i am an imposer. i want the best for people too much. so much that it interferes with their current state of happy.
i can't help it. i am ever a servant. if i can give a word, a dollar, share an experience or my time to someone else and they have it a little bit better or easier because of it, my corner of the universe is better too. i don't base my happiness in other people, that would be weird and folly. but i like to do what i can for people when i can.
but i have been burned, pretty bad. i tried to help, my help was not wanted, but i kept pushing, kept wanting more and better and different. i tried to brow beat, and got brow beaten. i was angry and frustrated and disgusted and disappointed and sad and a myriad of feels in between. ultimately to be numb. there was no fight left in this dog. then it hit me, the epiphany: this is not my life.
it was twofold: i am not living the life of the person i'm trying to influence. they've got their own thing going on. and as much as i think it could use improvement, ultimately, i can't live their life for them. and i am not living my own life the way that i want it to when i chase after people to maintain something that is clearly not meant to be. it doesn't mean i don't care, because i do. i'm not that heartless bitch-dick. i care too much. it's just not conducive to this particular situation. i will care from a very far distance.
so now, i believe in letting people do whatever the fuck they want. i can suggest, express my views. but if a person ain't hearing, they ain't hearing. no need to press the issue. i don't have to like their life or expose myself to it. if it gets bad enough, i can just walk away. no one needs these kinds of feels. it goes against my being, but i've got to learn to let go and let people do them.
i always liked the saying "reach for the moon. even if you fall, you fall among the stars." not everyone wants stars. they just want to stay on earth. some people want to be underground. some want to float in the ether. some want to go to moon and back. some want to go even further. some want to live among the clouds forever. and all of them are entitled to their choices and views and lives. leave them there, everyone's happiness is relative.
*deep breath* i feel a little better. i've dumped the negativity and i'm gonna try to get back to my center over the next few days. i'm gonna be a bit of alright.
next post will hopefully feature the extreme highs and deep lows of cosplay. and maybe some other stuff, i dunno. flying by the seat of my pants as always, stay with me...
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Saturday, April 26, 2014
whoa nelly, it's a post!
but only a brief one. didn't want the month to get away without another one.
'so! what have you been up to Kits?'
ereything. it's been a frikking whirlwind last few weeks. after animation celebration, i had two dnd sessions, several social engagements and cosplay work to do. i've been just too damn busy. while it's exhausting, i love it.
but it's also resulted in a major collapse in organization. the living room is a mess, i can't find things, i can't get any anime in, japanese lessons have been non existent for ages. i need a solid week with no work, no interruptions, no lil sister to get my house back in order. but it's not looking like i'll have time until june. after A-Kon, it has to be after A-Kon.
speaking of, the material for the Gamzee pants came in
it's got a weird lil sheen to it, the black sin't quite black and the circles don't stand out as much as i would like. or this is the impression i get from the shitty yellow lighting in my apartment. still love it though. i cut out the pattern pieces for the pants already, but haven't had time (frikkin life, frikkin busy) to start sewing.
also researched some tuts for gamzee makeup and material for horns. instead of the Instamorph i used for the last horns, found a tutorial for using regular ole Crayola Model Magic. supposedly its light weight and air dries overnight. decided against the Worbla and similar thermoplastics because of the weight and a lot of them needing some kind of mold.
closing in on the final lap of this cosplay. things i have left to do: horns, style the wig, buy the shirt, finish the gloves (the shitty, shitty gloves), sew the pants, buy and paint the shoes and buy the clubs. it sounds like i've hardly done any work on this thing at all...
other news, the writing blog is back in business with the next installment of Lanky Frank. plan on posting something else tomorrow, so i can drag his story out a lil more. random blog is what it is... random. and i've started a fourth endeavor (oh Kits, you'll never learn...), a blog about my japanese lessons. i found yet another neat site called lingualift that does online language lessons. So far they have japanese, russian, madarin and french, with cantonese in the works. and apparently if you're feeling froggy, you can learn all four at once without restrictions. i'm not feeling that adventurous, and will just stick with the japanese. only downside is, it's pricey (month to month subscriptions start at $30), but i've got a few days left on my trial to check out. but if i'm going to pay for something, i can go back to my rosetta stone for $10 a month.
gonna stop here so i have more to share in my next post. stay with me!
'so! what have you been up to Kits?'
ereything. it's been a frikking whirlwind last few weeks. after animation celebration, i had two dnd sessions, several social engagements and cosplay work to do. i've been just too damn busy. while it's exhausting, i love it.
but it's also resulted in a major collapse in organization. the living room is a mess, i can't find things, i can't get any anime in, japanese lessons have been non existent for ages. i need a solid week with no work, no interruptions, no lil sister to get my house back in order. but it's not looking like i'll have time until june. after A-Kon, it has to be after A-Kon.
speaking of, the material for the Gamzee pants came in
it's got a weird lil sheen to it, the black sin't quite black and the circles don't stand out as much as i would like. or this is the impression i get from the shitty yellow lighting in my apartment. still love it though. i cut out the pattern pieces for the pants already, but haven't had time (frikkin life, frikkin busy) to start sewing.
also researched some tuts for gamzee makeup and material for horns. instead of the Instamorph i used for the last horns, found a tutorial for using regular ole Crayola Model Magic. supposedly its light weight and air dries overnight. decided against the Worbla and similar thermoplastics because of the weight and a lot of them needing some kind of mold.
closing in on the final lap of this cosplay. things i have left to do: horns, style the wig, buy the shirt, finish the gloves (the shitty, shitty gloves), sew the pants, buy and paint the shoes and buy the clubs. it sounds like i've hardly done any work on this thing at all...
other news, the writing blog is back in business with the next installment of Lanky Frank. plan on posting something else tomorrow, so i can drag his story out a lil more. random blog is what it is... random. and i've started a fourth endeavor (oh Kits, you'll never learn...), a blog about my japanese lessons. i found yet another neat site called lingualift that does online language lessons. So far they have japanese, russian, madarin and french, with cantonese in the works. and apparently if you're feeling froggy, you can learn all four at once without restrictions. i'm not feeling that adventurous, and will just stick with the japanese. only downside is, it's pricey (month to month subscriptions start at $30), but i've got a few days left on my trial to check out. but if i'm going to pay for something, i can go back to my rosetta stone for $10 a month.
gonna stop here so i have more to share in my next post. stay with me!
Saturday, April 5, 2014
animation celebration 2014
a week behind, but here's some of what went down
yeeeh. it was a good amount of fun. it's a tiny convention, but a lot of people showed up and they had great guests. there's another one in May, not too far from where this one was. i doubt i'll make it, since May is crunch time for A-kon. but if they have any other shows between august and the end of the year in the area, i'll check them out.
one of the goals for 2015 is to visit a con out of the DFW area. i feel like i'm a big enough girl and ready for more responsibility. i may try San Japan in San Antonio. as long as i buy the ticket right after this year's event, i'll be more inclined to go.
in other news, back on the cosplay grind and gamzee is top priority as i want to debut that one at A-Kon in June. and i have to do another set of gloves. the last set that was meant for Gamzee turned out a little too weird and i couldn't really wear them. so i'm starting over from scratch. however, designed the print for the pants and it turned out awesome
yeeeh. it was a good amount of fun. it's a tiny convention, but a lot of people showed up and they had great guests. there's another one in May, not too far from where this one was. i doubt i'll make it, since May is crunch time for A-kon. but if they have any other shows between august and the end of the year in the area, i'll check them out.
one of the goals for 2015 is to visit a con out of the DFW area. i feel like i'm a big enough girl and ready for more responsibility. i may try San Japan in San Antonio. as long as i buy the ticket right after this year's event, i'll be more inclined to go.
in other news, back on the cosplay grind and gamzee is top priority as i want to debut that one at A-Kon in June. and i have to do another set of gloves. the last set that was meant for Gamzee turned out a little too weird and i couldn't really wear them. so i'm starting over from scratch. however, designed the print for the pants and it turned out awesome
it doesn't look like much in that lil bitty design. but circles are about 4" in diameter, all over. they are going to look great on my long legs.
after the pants, everything else should be gravy. worbla for the horns, snaps to attach them to the wig, whip up some fangs, buy the terminally capricious shirt, paint a pair of shoes purple and get the clubs. the cosplay practically finishes itself...
what else is going on... i'm 90% pescatarian. started 1 april and have consumed very little flesh of the land animals. but i have been chomping down on shrimp and fish. i love seafood and don't mind giving up the pig, cow and chicken too much. i just need better recipes. can't bake and fry everything. tomorrow is sunday though and that is my designated day for the other meats for now. i hope to go from once a week to once a month. not sure if i'll go all the way and be done with them completely yet. i guess see how i do.
also started this thing
squats, no biggie. i like doing those. wall sit, a challenge, but still, it's only for a few seconds. but them burpees though. if you know what a burpee is, god bless you. if you don't
yeah. i did 40 of those today. no big whoop. i did them slow as hell and i took breaks like every five or ten, but i did it. the difference from day one is amazing though. i was winded, my chest hurt, i sweated like a whore in church and it took me a really long time. today i blazed through the wall sit, squatted double time and improved the number of burpees i did without stopping. and that's after four days. by the end of the month, i'm gonna be a wrecking machine.
i think that's all i've got for this blog. don't forget to check out the writing blog at wordsbyknight.tumblr.com, the random blog at cataclysmisborn.tumblr.com. come back to this one for more life stuff, stay with me.
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