Tuesday, March 8, 2016

beautiful update

No, nothing amazing happened. Literally nothing ever happens to or for me. But I'm pretty sure this time I'm actually over Mike. Like really over. He didn't do anything, neither did I. Just, late last week I just felt, done. Not sure why, my interest has apparently just run its course. I did spend some amount of time on facebook seeing if he was seeing me. He wasn't, not that he's ever really on that much anyway. But the next day, I just didn't feel like it. Like, it was tedious trying to get his attention, seeing if I succeeded, it wasn't cute, and I knew the wouldn't be a resolution for me. So I stopped.
I'm so emptied out, just so tired of trying, it's all been pretty fucking stupid from the onset anyway. He's liked a post or two this week and I just smile a little and keep it moving. You had your chance bro, you really did.
A petty part of me wants to tell him now. Like ' look how great I'm doing with you not liking me!' But its to fresh. If I did that now and he showed even the slightest sign of inclination, I'd be back down that dark rabbit hole again. So in a few months, maybe next year, if the conversation steers in such a direction, I'll let him know. I imagined him saying 'aw, why didn't you let me know?' If course in my head is be screaming 'i did, you blind fuck!', but i'd just politely reply, ' you weren't interested.' And leave it at that. That's how I like to hope it goes down, if it ever does.