Friday, May 30, 2014

apparently, i can't do anything right...

probably gonna have to wear the kanaya gloves with the gamzee cosplay. i can not make another functional pair of gloves to save my life and i'm out of tights, money and time. i am disappoint...

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Saturday, May 24, 2014

stuuuff!

so, where i am, two weeks before A-Kon.

horns, after much disappointment, done:
every method i tried to not use that dreaded headband failed. the snaps initially failed because of the soft material i used for the horns. the bases i made from Instamorph to give them stability worked, but when i snapped them to the wig, the weight made them limp and they moved around. so earlier this week i devised that clips could work. so i made more lil spikes to stick in the horns and attached them to some claw clips. the mechanism worked great, but when i tried clipping them to my hair as a test, i ran into the same issue, they didn't stay put, wobbling around everywhere. since they are horns and not fucking antennae, i had to break down and get the damn headband. used the spike method again to attach them and voila, gamzee horns:
meh...
in other news, the shirt and clubs came in last week.

sooo cool...

as if i don't already have an assload to do, i'm teaching myself to juggle too. overachiever? you damn right...

the pants... jesus, the pants. they have been an ordeal as well. so the great cheap pattern i found online and bought, i could have bought cheaper at Walmart. and it would have been in English. and probably not as crappy as the one i bought online. after cutting out my expensive and one of a kind fabric, i started sewing the pieces of this delicate, rare fabric together. the shit is too thin to machine sew without interfacing. which i didn't know and ruined a lil corner of one of the legs. no big shakes, i gotta hem the legs anyway, but once i start sewing the panels together, i find the back side inches longer than the front, and the sides don't line up at. all. so now i've got an incomplete monstrosity of a pair of pants. i created the Frankenstein monster of pants. it was awful.
i consulted my mother who's been sewing since forever and she gave me some tips to try to fix the pants. i undid most of the outside leg seams and cut the excess that came from the bizarre back panel, then stitched up the correction. the pants are tighter in the thighs now, so i'm going to have to wrangle in my thickery thighs with body shapers and tights. but the only tough part left is getting the elastic in the waist. so far, i have no fucking idea what i'm doing, even after watching a youtube video about four times. and i'm pretty sure i've fucked something up. when i have the patience to back to it this week, i'll do it the way i think it should logically be done. it will either work good enough or be another nightmarish piece to fix. i'll keep you posted...

also finished the second kanaya glove this week as well as a pair of gloves decent enough to paint for gamzee hands. like the pants, i stopped fooling with them for weeks because i was frustrated with how they were turning out. i have fat hands, can't help it, it's the way God made me. but i kept cutting sections too thin between each finger (or cutting it crooked) making them too narrow for my truckasaurus fingers. the pair i'm going to work with are narrow in my left index and right ring (how i did that shit, no clue), but with the paint, they'll loosen up some. two more days of literally being up to my elbows in cold grey paint to go!

lastly, and something i'm very pleased with, gamzee shoes! this was easy and pretty fun. bought a cheapy pair of black sneakers, painted them purple and grey:



even added gamzee's "calling card" as such, a clown face on the sides:

no one's gonna see it. and i don't care...

im down to the wire, but i'm essentially almost done. just finish the pants and paint the gloves. practice the facepaint a time or two and gamzee is complete. honk :o)

i asked the lil today if she was cosplaying anything. i've been working on this for months and all i've heard about hers is she wanting me to do her Aranea horns after i first shaped my pair for gamzee. she's not cosplaying A-Kon, but waiting till A-Fest, but she wants to commission her cosplay from now on. it's a way to go, but not for me. as much as i adore my little sister, she is one lazy heifer. and she expects too much perfection. if something she tries doesn't work out right the first time, she doesn't want to do it anymore. ah, the hubris of youth. me, on the other hand, i love this creative shit. i love making things by hand, painting things, figuring out how to make things work to fit my vision. i like having my hand in every aspect of my cosplay. some things i do have/want to buy. i can't make wigs, i didn't want to make clubs. and i certainly didn't want a homemade capricorn shirt; i want to support hussey and have a beautiful professionally screen printed shirt. but everything else i lovingly and painstakingly did myself and i am so proud of that shit.

as i mentioned, it took me a few weeks to get back to working on cosplay. i didn't have all the materials i needed and i was pissed at the results i was getting. in my time away, i was still very busy.

played DnD. i'm writing my own campaign, which means making up my own maps:



he's not a DnD character or player piece, but i also managed to finish painting this lil guy. I call him Coronado, the dark deceiver. Got him at a-kon last year...


got another one i started painting today for a friend, so i'll post pics of him when he's done...

also saw one of my all-time favorite bands in concert, again, during the 20th anniversary tour of their debut album...

lastly, this past week i've been chasing this lil butt. meet my new furbaby, James Baxter

no, he's not very photogenic...
brownie points if you get his name reference. I was watching the show when he came and sat on my chest in this pic. he's a super cutie. active and independent, but still affectionate. i'm mostly glad he gets along really well with my doggy, BrandiWyne. and she watches him like a hawk, like he's her puppy. my fam is complete...

i think this is the longest post in blog history. but i've been away for a while, so it feels good. not sure what else will be coming down the pipeline. pics from A-kon, of course. need to get back to my art, update my tumblr blogs. definitely get some writing work done. gotta get my writing course officially done before i can do anything else. and of course, more cons and cosplay, starting my nine-tail fox in june/july. next time, though, i'm in the mood for smut. stay with me...

Friday, May 23, 2014

quiet, i know...

i'm just really busy. but it's good. i'm getting things done. one or two life changes as well to report.

pics to post real soon (tomorrow, after i collect them and take more?). 

stay with me...


Monday, May 5, 2014

thought for day...

some people like to live complicated lives. don't let their life complicate yours too...

Sunday, May 4, 2014

bluuuh...

hi.

what to talk about, what to talk about...

today i went to church, came home and hung with the second fam, now i'm at work.

not that exciting.

what else we go? cosplay? setback in the wig/horn department. sewed the snaps into the wig, no problem. tried to attach the horns to the wig, the horn material is way too soft and the snaps are way too sturdy. gonna have to instamorph a stronger base into the horns so i don't crush them trying to attach them.

also fucked up the pants somehow. the back panels are two inches longer than the front ones, and do weird things on the sides. i consulted my mother on what i did wrong and and how to fix it. it's gonna get weird, but i can do it. but after she gave me the solution, i haven't had the desire to continue that part of the project.

counted out the things i have left to do and it seems like i'm not getting anything done. crunch time...

not really feeling this post, so i won't drag it out. just sending out lots of love and positive energies to the universe. next time, maybe some smut. it's been a while, stay with me...

Saturday, May 3, 2014

one size don't fit all...

real talk time, my babies. kits has learned a life lesson.

the collection of experiences we call life are not going to be the same for everyone. and that is perfectly ok. 

i'm an optimist. i try to see the good and the positive potential in everyone i come across. i genuinely want the best for everyone. what kind of bitch-dick would want to misery to befall everyone? it takes a lot for a person to fall so far out of favor with me that i would want less than the best possible for a person. it's sad, but it has happened.

but what i think is the best possible outcome for a person might not fit what they see as the best possible outcome. neither is necessarily wrong, just different.

problems arise, however, when a body tries to impose their ideal on someone else's life. it's not their life anymore, it's someone else's image of what it should be. unless that person is responsive and agrees with the vision, it causes nothing but strife for both parties. the imposed person rebels, the imposer is upset by the rebellion. it's not a good look for anyone involved. i am an imposer. i want the best for people too much. so much that it interferes with their current state of happy.

i can't help it. i am ever a servant. if i can give a word, a dollar, share an experience or my time to someone else and they have it a little bit better or easier because of it, my corner of the universe is better too. i don't base my happiness in other people, that would be weird and folly. but i like to do what i can for people when i can.

but i have been burned, pretty bad. i tried to help, my help was not wanted, but i kept pushing, kept wanting more and better and different. i tried to brow beat, and got brow beaten. i was angry and frustrated and disgusted and disappointed and sad and a myriad of feels in between. ultimately to be numb. there was no fight left in this dog. then it hit me, the epiphany: this is not my life.

it was twofold: i am not living the life of the person i'm trying to influence. they've got their own thing going on. and as much as i think it could use improvement, ultimately, i can't live their life for them.  and i am not living my own life the way that i want it to when i chase after people to maintain something that is clearly not meant to be. it doesn't mean i don't care, because i do. i'm not that heartless bitch-dick. i care too much. it's just not conducive to this particular situation. i will care from a very far distance.

so now, i believe in letting people do whatever the fuck they want. i can suggest, express my views. but if a person ain't hearing, they ain't hearing. no need to press the issue. i don't have to like their life or expose myself to it. if it gets bad enough, i can just walk away. no one needs these kinds of feels. it goes against my being, but i've got to learn to let go and let people do them.

i always liked the saying "reach for the moon. even if you fall, you fall among the stars." not everyone wants stars. they just want to stay on earth. some people want to be underground. some want to float in the ether. some want to go to moon and back. some want to go even further. some want to live among the clouds forever. and all of them are entitled to their choices and views and lives. leave them there, everyone's happiness is relative.

*deep breath* i feel a little better. i've dumped the negativity and i'm gonna try to get back to my center over the next few days. i'm gonna be a bit of alright.

next post will hopefully feature the extreme highs and deep lows of cosplay. and maybe some other stuff, i dunno. flying by the seat of my pants as always, stay with me...