Friday, November 29, 2013

fucking sad

I feel like a the harbinger of death. four people in the last four months have died around me. it's fucking heart breaking; three of them were good friends, people I can say I loved in some way.

life is not fucking fair sometimes. I want to scream, fight, cry, do something to try to change it, anything. but there's no changing fact: life is unfair to all of us at some point.

it's hard going about daily business, hurting like this. people around you are happy, having great times. and part of me is angry, like 'don't you know someone just died? have a little decency.' but they don't fucking know. and someone, several people even, die every second of the day.

they are also born every second of the day, though. we ignore both facts as facts of life, so to speak. I don't know know much about reincarnation, but I believe it involves being reborn in a better life if you did well in your past one, or vice versa. if applicable, I want my parted friends to reincarnate into awesome lives, because they led great ones already.

I fucking miss them. all of them. by the Christian faith I was raised in, I would get to see them again in glory. that wouldn't be half bad either. I could use one more joke, one more hug, one more song.

making myself sad now. kits out...

Monday, November 25, 2013

Chan~ges...

the first of many blog updates have begun. starting with the new email for this blog and The GoodGirlGrind is CataclysmIsBornProductions@gmail.com. it's gonna be for a lot of things. writing, art, cosplay, gaming, and anything else i get up to. Also linked this blog to Google+. so far not that crazy about that medium, but i'll maintain it as long as it serves me.

soon to come will be a twitter, CataclysmIsBorn Facebook, maybe a tumblr?(generally can't wrap my head around that site...). i'll see what else i can get into...

i'm really all new to this. i want to get myself out there, build a brand, gain some following and maybe see a little success in my various endeavors. that's the goal. so i gotta spend a considerable amount of life wading through the various social medias. this shit ain't easy. at all. but i hope it will be worth it.

stay with me...

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Monday, November 18, 2013

Random PSA!

guys, if you've ever been on Wikipedia, you know every once in a while they go all "PBS" and ask for money. well, it really is one of the most helpful sites for just random bs information, and you know you've used it. personally, i love Wikipedia. so throw some money at them this season. not all your money, they aren't a stripper. but they do work for tips. $3-$5 bucks will keep them running another year. you paid more for lunch in the last week, and on that lunch break you probably had to wiki something. so help out, thanks.

*end PSA. feel free to share*

Friday, November 15, 2013

Anime North Texas!

is right now!

I was later than i wanted to be, but i made it to the con! it's nothing like akon or even animefest. it's there first year and it's really, really tiny. like, so tiny i see the same dude in a fox cosplay in every panel i go to. granted, we both end up in cosplay panels, but still, tiny cute little con.

but i had fun today. it was surprisingly easy to get to, despite crap traffic (i hate traffic by the way. like really, hate). not a lot of cosplayers, but a few recognizable faces. i expect there to be a lot more tomorrow, since saturday is usually the biggest day for most conventions.

they have some decent artist and vendors and i plan on making a few purchases. nothing crazy, since i don't have room or money for all the things i want. the only downside to this particular saturday is that i will have to bolt out and miss one of the cosplay panels i wanted to attend to go to a funeral for a coworker. I won't dwell on that, since this is about the con and it makes me super sad, but Jimmy 'Dale' Moore was a damn good man. con's come and go, but this is my only chance to say farewell to a friend.

so back to ANT, one downside to this con and its location, there's like no food. the convention staff have some tiny snacks, and they are selling cups to get free drinks from the hotel, but there are no food trucks and the cafe in the hotel lobby is a little weird. weird as i never see anyone actually working. just a random table or two of hotel guests. most of which are gawking at the costumed freaks that have apparently taken over the place. i love being a costumed freak and making people look twice. warms my cockles. but i actually had to leave the hotel, drive a 18 minutes that turned into half an hour (fuck you traffic. fuck you and go to hell.) and come back for my last panel. and i only got a burger. tomorrow and sunday though, i plan on indulging in some of the better restaurants.

other than that, it's a standard con. everyone has been really nice and peaceable. no fandom wars (that i'm aware of), no over crowding, the panels are good... overall, good con so far. i plan on attending again next year.

oh, yeah. and here's a pic of the finished product...





i was never happy with the hood, but hey, i can live with it. more tomorrow...

how it all played out...

as i write this, i envision that this shit should not be hard. the white is easy, the eyes, nose and whiskers are easy ( i can't believe i found black whiskers *fist pump*). the only complication (and potential tears of frustrated fury) i foresee is the ears. i have to cut slits in the hood an make them stand up. now i have some pretty good material for the inside of the ears that i think should stay up: i yanked the weird pastie cups out of my white Genie bra

yeah, we're doing this...

*and then three days passed*

and yes, the ears were a 6 hour nightmare. i started on the ears first (probably mistake number one). i'd shaped them into perfect little ovals and positioned them on the hood with the rest of the face. then i had to mark their positions to cut (enter mistake number two). since the material is furry, i had to find something strong and dark enough to mark it. i end up using a pen. thus every place i cut had pen mark all over it. un. professional. then the horror started.

i'd positioned the ears concave side down. so they would would be concave side up when i attached the cups. i should have done the opposite.  so now i have pen marks all over the hood that are going the wrong way. it ultimately made the cups really hard to position and attach to the flaps i'd created. so while they are "up" they don't have any cute definition. they are just flat. honestly don't know what i could have done different. i considered stuffing a little batting that i had behind them for body, but that would convex the cups, making the whole situation worse. 

i eventually just got the damn cups on there and dealt with it. attaching the white face, eyes and nose were a cinch. an absolute fucking joy. and then i got to the whiskers, which i figured would be just as easy as it was the finishing touch. it was the damn ears all over again. the whiskers are just these thin, black  little fiber optic looking things. which is no biggie, but i had no way of attaching them besides sewing them. or at least that's what i thought. hindsight is a bitch (mistake three!). i dug some holes in the face and stuck the whiskers through, then used the transparent thread to sew them in. this worked great. till i pulled to make sure they were secure and the little bastards pulled clean out. so i had to sew around, and around, and around and around them to get enough string layered to keep them in place. what i should have done was dug the holes, stuck the whiskers in and used some tacky glue on the inside to keep them in place. it was wednesday night, i had plenty of time to test it and try it again before i had to wear it. but it was wednesday night, i was tired and not thinking straight. 

so around two am and several episodes of archer later, the beast was done. 

i decided not to fix my Kanaya cosplay, as i had no desire to get into that get up. plus i got no body paint. so there's that. thursday i went to the part time gig, then came home an did my hair. the game plan was to bleach it to a warm brown to match the cosplay. what i go twas a bizarre light brown blond nightmare. (what mistake am i up to now? damn shame i keep fucking up like this...)

i, uh, don't know jack...

the roots took too well while the ends didn't want to take all all. and i think i left the bleach on a little too long. another mistake (made weeks ago, but i still count it as what, five?) was picking up the wrong developer. it was the wrong strength, then i tried leavinge it on longer to get the ends to lighten.  i've developed mostly good hair over the years, so it will grow out and a color rinse will calm the fury. what i now worry about is my hair getting crazy brittle. if that happens, gonna have to be a year of weave till it gets back to a decent length. let's hope it doesn't come to that (hope, fast, pray... i love my hair!)

so the con started today, more on that in another post...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Tuesday before the con...

alright, welcome back...

still working my nao cosplay, and thank God we're in the home stretch and on schedule.

nao is pleased...

the hood proved to be somewhat easier than i originally anticipated. attaching it to the shirt was a snap, took about an hour hand sewing it. i would have loved to have used my machine, but it was 1 AM and the household was asleep. i want this shit done, but i don't want to be a dick about it.

this morning, i tired the whole thing on about three times adjusting the overage on the back and trimming it down to get a decent shape. in that process, i also decided that my huge hooters do not look good in this top. but i may have a solution. i'm going to go by a sporting goods store and get a compression shirt. i read it helps heavy/large chested cosplayers tame their titties. with the hood done, i got to the part i was most excited about since i started this project: the extra long stripped sleeves.

i was sooo excited. i just knew this would be the easiest, fastest and cutest part yet. it is 10:30 at night and i just finished a little while ago. it. was. HELL. because of this:

HELL!

the sleeves are so long, i had to bunch them like crazy to maneuver around them to attach them to the furry sleeves. and i had to use my left hand to do most of the stitching because my right hand was stuffed in the rolls keeping it straight and steady. part of the problem is that before this, i had little concept of the proper fabric needed. when i designed the material for the sleeves, i used the cheapest material Spoonflower offered, because it said cotton. and while it is cotton, super smooth and soft, it's like dress shirt material, not tshirt material. so it didn't give as much as i would have liked. which probably would have made rolling it to attach it to the outer sleeves a little easier. six hours to attach two damn sleeves. i know i'm an amateur at this shit, but damn, i feel pretty ashamed of that time.

but, ohmahgosh, SO CUUUUTE!

yeah, gonna have to iron those sleeves :-/
one day and one thing left to do: the mousey face. I'm determinted more than anything for this not to be an all day process. i got a lot of other shit to do. IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN! 

T minus 2 days

*original post delayed due to no flipping pics!*

i dunno what the T stands for. touch down? whatevs, gotta make this quick. it's crunch time.

so i got ringer sleeves on the tee. this should have been gravy, but i spent an hour of the two i had to day, sewing a sleeve on inside out and another hour ripping the seams to put it on right. by then, it was work time, so i grabbed the materials and tools and have been sitting here for, oh, 6 hours handsewing sleeves that should have taken ten, twenty minutes tops, had i not fucked up the first time. but the sleeves are half done and cute.






i tried it on and and, much to my chagrin, it's not nearly as loose as i would like. but you know what, i'll loose weight, i'll strap down my tits, whatever. what i'm not going to do is try this again. it will still be cute and recognizable once it's done.

next problem on the agenda, however, is the hood. it's hangs loosely around Nao's head in cute, clothes-two-sizes-too-big-for-you sort of way. i originally measured a nice wide berth of 21" so it would cover my huge head and still hang. this is, however, WAY too big for the poor little 26" neck of my shirt. the pattern i ripped off for the hood was for a Padme Amidala costume.



but it's ruched to the neck of a cape. i can't ruch this. it would look stupid. so i have to trim the hood, and i'm fucking scared because i'm afraid that if i cut too much, it won't hang right and be all tight against my huge head. but there's nothing for it but to do it. i just hope i don't have to go fabric shopping tomorrow because of this...

so now it is 1030 on monday night an the goal is to have this shit done no later than wednesday night. in addition to finishing this puppy, i have to wash my hair tuesday, bleach my bangs wednesday repair my Kanaya cosplay thursday in case i decide to wear it. all this between two jobs and whatever else live chucks at me between now and then.  NO MORE, PLEASE, LIFE! I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR IT!

the heat is on...

Sunday, November 10, 2013

sooo gooooood!

i have no fucking idea what i'm doing. but i'm a boss at it. got the sleeves cut off the tshirt today.

 

gonna round the bottoms of the shirt too, but that's in post. i've got to get the rest of it put together first. i ripped the shirt seams to lay flat and used hem as a pattern for the sleeves, marking them left and right. because i don't need any reason to fuck up at this juncture.


especially sincce i'm out of fabric. the sleeves were right at the edge of the furry fabric. i might lose part of an inch in the pit area, but i'll make that sacrifice for the rest of it to at least look right.

i felt like i got a lot done, but i didn't. i wish i'd had more time today to cut out the sleeves and start sewing them back to the body of the tee. but between church and family shenanigans, this is all i could do. i am very excited about tomorrow, as it is all about me monday. i love to sleep in and kick back monday mornings, do what i want. makes me feel like a lady of leisure one day a week. but i won't stay in bed tomorrow, since want to work on this cosplay. tomorrow sleeves, hopefully get the hood attached,  put the collar back on and then the face. new goal is to get it all done mid week, so i can do some repair work on my Kanaya to wear to the last day of the con. 

in nanowrimo news, yesterday was not productive. i only got a little over a thousand words done. the goal was 3k. i'm not fretting though. i think as long as i get something in, the daily minimum at least, once the con and birthdays and shit are over, i can buckle down the last few days of the month and get to 50k. if not, chalk up another incomplete year and wait for next november. i've got so much other stuff to write on anyway. some of which, i will bring to this blog.

speaking of writing, have some. the blog exclusive story i mentioned long, long ago. it's just a snippet, since i haven't worked on it much and don't have a lot done. the premise, numbers personified as high school kids. weird? yeah, it is, i know. but for some reason, i have always given numbers personalities and traits. it never helped me in school, because math was never my best subject. but it made them more meaningful some how. so! without further ado, the first installment of Number's Game. enjoy!

*forgive the errors, this is unedited work!*

Golden yellow light streamed through One’s bedroom window. It warmed his face and woke him up. Slowly he opened his eyes, looking up at the window and the brilliant new day outside.
He grinned. “this is it,” he whispered, then got up and headed to the bathroom.
Half an hour later, he was washed, brushed, dressed and ready for the first day of his senior year. He trotted downstairs to the kitchen and found his little brother already at the kitchen island, nibbling on toast.
“Morning Z!” he said cheerily as he grabbed a plate from the cabinet.
Zero mumbled a greeting as he dropped a pat of scrambled eggs on the floor. Like lightning, Sassafras bolted under One’s legs and scooped up the egg. The next second he leapt from the floor to Zero’s lap, up onto the island, cleaning his whiskers and paws.
“You know mom doesn’t like it when you feed the cat your food, bro,” One warned
“Are you going to tell?” Zero raised an eyebrow at his brother defiantly.
“Nope, but she’s gonna know why Sassers is on the counter.”
One took a seat at the breakfast table. Zero looked back at him warily and pulled Sassafras into his lap.

that's all you get for today, kids. just a taste is all you need. to be continued, probably after nanowrimo. tomorrow, more cosplay goodness!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

i like busy but... shit!

and busy as fuck i am. i've got several irons in the fire right now and they are ALL on a time crunch.

i'm trying my best to rock NaNoWriMo this year, as i excerpted from the novel for this year in my last post. things always go well, as long as i go to work, because i seriously do very little at work. it affords me a lot of time for my distractions (like sewing, writing novels, reading, practicing japanese... you get the idea. i don't work hard). but on those days i don't go to work, all hell breaks loose, because i cannot write at home. talk about distractions! i eat, i clean, i play games, i hang out with the lil sis, i sleep... i do everything but write. i really wish i could rectify that. but it's going to have to come to a point where i have time to not only do all the extraneous bullshit, but have dedicated sit down time (like i have at work) to be able to write at home. of the 15003 words i'm supposed to accomplish by the end of today, i have 7137. at this point, my goal is 3000 words each day to try to catch up. so enjoy the fruits of my most likely ill advised labor...

*be advised, this is a novel for NaNoWriMo, so it's going to be raw, ugly, unedited work!*

The rest of the night was divine and pleasant. After the sun set, the torches were lit. and the men enjoyed one of the finest day of age feasts Endop city had ever seen. Rayar Spellwater had arranged a sampling of every meat and vegetable the region had to offer. Halfway through the meal, he even presented his some with a rare delicacy of cake, brought from Ristia, the nearest city, over 800 treks away.
After dinner the games and entertainment resumed. But Arbitrol was still burdened. He was glad to be a man, to be free of his father’s house and his corrupt ways. But he wasn’t so sure he was ready for the real world. he would have a job, and to top it all off, a wife. He wasn’t ready, he was sure of it.
“Where is my thank you, boy?”
Arbitrol was startled by his father’s voice as he passed a tree near the city center.”
“Father! You scared me out of my skin!”
“that wasn’t my intention, but I’ll surely take my pound of flesh. You didn’t say thank you.”
“I.. I’m sure I did.”
“you didn’t. you thanked the guests. And the servents, especially that deviant sigue. Don’t think I don’t notice how much time you spend with him. You even thanked that old passgass morgory. But not me! Your own father!”
Rayar caught his volume and calmed down. “Thank me now before I beat it out of you.”
“Thank you, father! Thank you. the dinner was magnificent, especially the cake. And the amusements are the absolute best. Thank you for… raising me… to see this day. I… I’m proud to be your son. Thank you!”
“What else?” Rayar asked lowly, stepping closer to arbitrol. He fought back the urge to flinch. Rayar hated to see signs of weakness in him, most of all a flinch.
Arbitrol couldn’t think of what his father meant, then remembered. “thank your for providing me a wife! No son could get a greater gift.”
Rayar stared at his son a moment more. Arbitrol wasn’t sure what his father would say or do. it may be my day of age, but this celebration is for him. his achievement, his power. He’ll do anything he likes, even beat me if he wants to.
A greasy smile eventually curled the corners of rayar’s mouth. “You’re welcome, my one and only son. You don’t believe it when I say it, but I do love you, Arbitrol. I always have. I always will. Everything I’ve ever done was for you.”
“I know, father. Thank you. I love you too.”
Arbitrol gingerly held out his arms and his father grabbed him. they hugged for what seemed longer than appropriate to arbitrol.
“you owe everything to me. All you will ever do. remember that, arbitrol.” His father whispered. Arbitrol felt the familiar numbness he felt when his father said things like this.
“yes sir. Thank you.”
Rayar let his son go suddenly. He looked him over again, smiled, then patted his arms. “go on boy, enjoy your celebration. don’t overdo it. we still have the soire tonight to go.
“Yes sir.”

Rayar turned and strolled back toward the music and he lights of the celebration. Arbitrol was officially exhausted. Both of the party and with his father. He turned to the darkess to rest at home before the soire when he heard yelling behind him.

yeeeaaah, that's tasty. other than nanowrimo, and on a tighter deadline is my outfit for ANT, which is in less than a week. yikes! i shared the pic of my character from Dramatical Murder in the last post and i made a fair amount of progress on the cosplay today. i'm basically turning a regular tshirt into ringer tee with a furry mouse hood. i struggled with the shirt the most because i'm a big girl with tig ole bitties. every huge ass shirt was loose everywhere but my chest and it's kind of crucial for it to be loose everywhere. i might have to find a way to tie these puppies down some between now and next weekend. or everyone that sees it will just have to dispel a lot of belief. I'm leaning toward the latter. 

anywho, today i marked the tshirt sleeves to cut off to add the furry ringer tee sleeves. also took off the collar because i need to reattach it after i get the hood attached. as so:


the hood i cut weeks ago because i was excited about finding a material that not only looked good, but matched the original colors 


i went with a semi-circle cut for the hood instead of two halves. one, because i think the two halves would be ugly and two, i need the hood to be seamless, since i have to put the mousey face on it. let's hope it works out. i kind of don't have time to go buy more fabric to try it again! i'm on the verge of displaying true cosplayer behavior: down to the wire, finish the outfit the morning of the con.

so about that collar, Nao's collar is brown, to match the sleeves. i ain't got time to be dying shit, so i pulled out the good ole acrylic paints and mixed a matching brown.

that's a match, right?

my motto for a lot of this shit is "close enough". it may not be exact because i am a poor amateur cosplayer. but if you're able to scrutinize the mistakes, you're standing to close and need to move around. so i used that mix to paint the collar and it looked really good.


tomorrow i'm looking forward to cutting the sleeves off the tshirt. i'm going to use them as a pattern to make the ringer sleeves, and i might even get them attached (i hope!). once those are on, i can add the hood, put the collar back on and add the face to the hood. that's the game plan at least. here's hoping it plays out right between now and friday. i'll keep ya posted!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

i'm back, my babies!

i made a pair of these for halloween...


no big whoop, just fingerless gloves. but after making my skirt for akon this year, i realized i'm kind of into sewing. my moms tried to get me interested as a kid, but i wasn't having any of it. now, i love it. currently working on a costume to cosplay this


this cute lil guy is Nao, from a BL game called Dramatical Murder (i'm sure i've mentioned it somewhere before...). the minute his that face popped on my computer screen, i knew i had to wear that hoodie. so far, the project is going smoothly. i ordered fabric for the long stripped sleeves from this bomb site called spoonflower.com. you can design your own print on a wide variety of fabrics, or you can purchase one from the awesome designs already on the site. a week or so a go i got some furry fabric for the hood and already have it cut. i bought a tshirt to attach it all to, but it wasn't quite as baggy as i want it, so i've got a place to get another one. soon as i get that, it won't take long to finish. i just need something for he whiskers. i want them to be attached, not painted on or anything (the entire face will be attached: teeth, white snoot, nose and eyes, and ears), but i don't know what material to use. but i have a few weeks to figure it out.

Only a few weeks, Kits? why is that?

because i'm going to Anime North Texas! it's a brand new con in fort worth and i'd like to give them a try. i can't imagine how hard it is starting a new con in this town, but if it gives me another chance to cosplay, i'm all about it!

so yeah, i've been pretty crafty recently, but that doesn't mean i've given up my passion of writing. as you can see, it is november 2nd, and that means it's the second day of NaNoWriMo. for the third year in a row i'm going to do my damnedest to crank out a 50,000 word novel before november 30th. will it be complete? it's highly possible it won't be. will it be coherent? in most places, but not all. will it be littered with typos, grammatical errors, plot holes and loose ends? definitely. in years past it was my goal to actually 'win' NaNoWriMo, and by 'win' i mean get to 50,000 words. the first year, when i thought i was really cooking, i only got 13,000. last year, i managed 28. even though pressure is the name of the game, this year i just want to write. i'm off to a good start this year with a lil over a 1300 in the first day. the daily target, to get to 50k by the end of the month is 1,667. while that may not seem like a lot... it is. 

in fact, i should probably be doing that now instead of blogging. but here's an excerpt of what i have so far to tide you over, my babies. ciao!


The setting sun, the lapping waves, the faint sweet smell of the blooming tree, all nearly took Arbitrol away to the land of sleep. He’d had a long day
His father had paraded him all over the settlement today. “My greatest achievement,” Rayar had said over and over. The one he had so little to do with developing, Arbitrol had thought as he glad-handed every man they’d visited that day. It was the eve of his 19th day of age. Rayar wanted everyone to celebrate with them. And give Arbitrol gifts and currencty. He’d raised a boy and managed him to survive to 19 ages. He would certainly live to the ripe old age of 60 from there, as the people of their settlement often dreamed of.
So proud… Arbitrol thought. “and so full of shit.” he muttered as he swatted a passing insect. Before he could lay his hand back on his chest, his televice sounded twice.
“Arbi? What are you doing boy?” his father bellowed into the communicator.
“I’m here, father, I’m here,” Arbitrol moaned as he patted the ground next to him to grab the televice. He glanced at it and his eyes met his father chilling icy blue ones, set in his hansom chisled face. Arbitrol was often glad he didn’t favor his father’s sinister look.
“Are you at that tree again, boy?” Rayar sighed. “I suspect if the water wasn’t nearly acid, you’d be frolicking in that as well. Why you enjoy being outdoors, in the elements all the time is beyond me!”
“Was there something you wanted father?” Arbitrol cut in.
“Of course, I don’t contact you to talk, boy! Come back to the house, I’ve got good news for you!”
“Now?”
“Yes. Now, Arbitrol.” Rayar’s face flashed with a darkness for only a moment. Arbitrol had seen the look before. His father was not a cruel man, but he was impatient and not accustomed to being told no.
“Yes father, on my way.” Arbitrol stood, dusted himself off and headed home.



holy shit, wait i'm not done! i mentioned yesterday in my 'revival' post of sorts, that i would be revamping the site. that will more than likely happen tomorrow, whether or not i actually post anything artsy. so look forward to that. in the interim, check out the blog i DID work on today,  The GoodGirlGrind

Friday, November 1, 2013

*dusts of blog* this thing still work?

shit i hope so...

hi!

i don't suppose you missed me, did you?

well i damn sure missed you.

Well where the hell were you, Kits? why'd you leave, where'd you go?

well my babies, summer was a busy, busy, time for me. i went to afest, had a birthday ("26" years young, baby!), improved my art, took up sewing, did some partying, met some cool as hell peeps, got a second job, became re-inspired to write, committed to one more con this year, finished two video games, looking to play two more, celebrating the little sister's 18th soon, along with thanksgiving, christmas, new years... needless to say, i'm a bit exhausted and a little overwhelmed.

however, in addition to all the crap i ALREADY have going, i've added fitness and wellness to my plate. and to track the progress of said self improvement, check out my new blog, The GoodGirlGrind.

as for this lovely little spot, i'll be updating a lot more often along with The GoodGirlGrind. i won't bore you with all the action you missed in the last few months, but instead start fresh with current happenings, starting, wait for it.... tomorrow! yay you! and like my other blog, this one will be updated, looking good, connected to social medias, so on so forth.

so look forward to it, kids!